Craic & Codology

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Joan Burton

TÁNAISTE Joan Burton says “there is no doubt” that Labour environment minister Alan Kelly and FG finance minister Michael Noonan will reach a deal on rent certainty in due course.

Joan Burton

Joan Burton

“Mr. Noonan is a very clever politician who is great with sums and Alan whatsisname is a very talented listener who is also great at… y’know… lots and lots of things,” assures the Labour leader. “They are both very serious about the issue. I could hear them discussing it intensely in Mr. Noonan’s office this morning before the younger man came out to wash the blood off his shirt.”

On other pages:

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  • ‘We nearly had agreement but his bald head slipped out of Alan Kelly’s headlock’, says Alan Kelly.
  • ‘Sign your name to them or else stop the anonymous death threats to Alan Kelly’, says Alan Kelly