- Meghan’s pet name for Harry is Your Royal Highness.
- The Duke of Edinburgh could not attend the wedding because he was on safari shooting pandas.
- The fairytale marriage was almost cancelled after the bride discovered Harry was not actually Ed Sheeran.
- Theresa May has thanked the royal couple for creating a temporary distraction from her shambolic government.
- Prince George was delighted to be pageboy, appearing on the front page, middle page and every other page of the British tabloids.
- Prince Charles gave the couple some eco-friendly paranormal yoghurt as a gift. He had already given Will and Kate the throne.
- Harry insisted on taking his Nazi uniform on honeymoon.
- Meghan actually knows the true identity of her father.
(That’s enough royal fillers – Ed.)