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THIS WEEK’S MOST READ STORIES
Rory McIlroy GOLFER LOSES AGAIN A FAMOUS golfer struggled in the final round of a golfing competition in Augusta, Georgia. An eye-witness said: “From what I could gather, the golfer who lost wore a pale blue v-neck sweater and did not play very well on the final... Read more »

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DUP leader ‘denies allegations’
Arlene Foster By Our Political Staff – Phil Pockets ARLENE FOSTER, who was minister in charge of the department that set up the renewable heat incentive scheme, has strenuously denied all allegations that she was involved in the botched green energy project. Giving evidence in Belfast yesterday... Read more »

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Spot the Difference
StD-3608 CONOR McGREGOR RORY McILROY Major embarrassment Masters embarrassment Lost to Mayweather Lost fairweather fans Pulled a stroke Takes too many strokes Pulled a stroke Stuck in bunker Threw trash cans Threw away victory Has no UFC belts Has no green jacket Hybrid sports star Hybrid... Read more »

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Miriam’s tribute to Winnie
Winnie Mandela PRIME TIME host Miriam O’Callaghan has paid tribute to Winnie Mandela who was laid to rest recently. The RTÉ presenter said she was deeply moved by the plight of the ANC activist who many had predicted was destined for the top job in South African... Read more »

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Leo doesn’t trust Sinn Féin
Leo-MaryLou TAOISEACH Leo Varadkar has reiterated his opposition to working with Sinn Féin. The Fine Gael leader ruled out any prospect of a coalition between the two parties in the immediate future. Speaking to the media at a charity sock launch in Leinster House the Dublin... Read more »

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Doctor in the House
Doctor Varadkar The Easter recess is over and the Eoin O’Duffy Memorial Infirmary is returning to full operations, in more ways than one. Hospital master Leo Varadkar prepares for a delicate procedure on a visiting American, with the help of a committee of assistant surgeons. Varadkar: What’s... Read more »

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INM moots data mining
INM INDEPENDENT News and Media has announced plans to diversify its business operations over the coming months. The corporate media giant wants to enter into the highly lucrative field of natural resources and data mining in particular. The move comes hot on the heels of a decision... Read more »

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Aussie Captain denies Simon-tampering
Steve Smith AUSTRALIAN cricket captain Steve Smith has denied tampering with Simon Coveney’s balls. The Tánaiste and part-time circus performer had spent months trying to keep the items up in the air while simultaneously checking to see which way the wind was blowing. But disaster struck when... Read more »

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Shane Ross’s dog’s dinner
Three canny canines give their reaction Leo – Owned by Mr E. U. Brussels “Hard to judge” Mick – Owned by Mr M Wallace of Wexford.   “Dinner at Ross’s place? I wouldn’t bother me arse getting all dressed up for that.” Brendan Howling –... Read more »

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