Minister Aodhán Ó Geardáin has announced innovative new measures aimed at providing more effective treatment for politicians addicted to publicity. Under the new guidelines, ministers will receive controlled doses of PR under strict supervision at approved centres around the country.
“We need to end scenarios where washed to individuals like Eamoan Gilbore is forced to serialise his sensational memoirs in the Sindo just to satisfy his cravings,” explained Ó Geardáin. “This is a man who wants nothing more but to flog his lame memoirs in a safe and controlled environment. Similarly, currently ministers – for example, those wishing to boost their profile as an election nears – will be free to avail of the facilities.”
The minister also noted that as the election nears, politicians’ hunger for column inches is set to reach “epidemic levels.”