March 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Tuesday Landed at airport and scandalised by complete lack of media scrum to meet us. Don’t people understand the imprisonment of Enoch is one of the major stories in world affairs at the moment? Also, signs of liberal decadence everywhere in American society, with people obsessing over “TV”, “movies” and so-called “pop” music. Wednesday Had… Read more »

March 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Recently this organ, and all other popular publications, may have inadvertently given the impression that we believed our national rugby side to be men of unquantifiable talent and inexhaustible courage. Headlines such as “Simon’s Supermen Now Immortal” and “Green Goliaths to Guillotine Les Gauls” may have misled readers into thinking we had over-estimated the capabilities… Read more »

March 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

IT DOESN’T seem possible but it is now exactly 20 years since the first official report revealed the Metrolink rail development would cost twice its initial €3.5bn estimate. Since then, opponents of the infrastructure project have regularly called on successive governments to cancel this “colossal financial disaster” before construction begins next year. Senator Michael McDour… Read more »

March 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

By Ken Tucky Despite its daunting prelude, Taoiseach Micheál Martin’s shamrock celebration with Donald Trump has been hailed a ‘great success’, according to sources close to the event. “The president handled what could have been a very difficult encounter very diplomatically,” said a relieved White House aide. “He was very careful not to provoke Mr… Read more »

March 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Leo Varadkar Who will ever forget the bond we shared over our mutual love of novelty socks and I think everyone will agree that we both managed to put our foot in it politically. Although in fairness, I was nearly a decade younger than Justin when I was ousted as leader. Mark Carney Justin stood… Read more »

March 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Ukraine to give Russia everything it wants New Ukrainian resort to be named after Donald Trump Ukraine to be renamed Ukrainian States of America Ukraine to give THE US control of all natural resources plus Netflix account Statue of JD Vance TO BE ERECTED in Kyiv Er… … That’s it

March 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Ahead of Ireland’s two-legged Nations League play-off against Bulgaria, manager Heimir Hallgrímsson has said he’s taking inspiration from the Irish rugby team’s implosion against France. He has suggested the dire Irish display in the Six Nations clash had many of the hallmarks of his own team. “It’s flattering to see the rugby boys taking their… Read more »

March 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Dublin Zoo is excited to announce its latest immersive experience, welcoming some of the world’s most realistic and terrifying animatronic dinosaurs. The Martin-Triceratops Horridus Relentlessly simpers while relying on an elongated brown snout to cower in the long grass before crawling on all fours before Trumposaurus Rex. The Healy-Raedons Wily pre-hysteric (Surely ‘prehistoric’? – Ed.)… Read more »

March 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Sir Jim Ratcliffe has announced plans for a 100,000 seat misery-palace stadium to replace Old Trafford. The project is expected to cost £2bn, equivalent to the salaries of some 40,000 tea ladies. “Unfortunately, we don’t actually have that many tea ladies to sack,” said the wiry CEO, “which is a great shame for me on… Read more »

March 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

• Flooding the airwaves with Dáil speaking rows • Splashing out on St Patrick’s Day junkets • Not doing a tap of work • Watering down pre-election promises • Half of them not giving a dam • Coffers overflowing at children’s hospital • Washing one’s hands of Michael Lowry

March 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

With his grey suits and greyer personality, Canada’s new prime minister has had international political observers asking, ‘Mark who?’ But as he prepares to fight Donald Trump’s threatened trade tariffs, Carney has been sounding off about his cherished Irish roots. “My grandparents came from Hokeytown, near Paddysville on the famed Cavan/Waterford border,” reflected a misty-eyed… Read more »

March 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

After his meeting with Micheál Martin, Donald Trump has expressed his concern over a ‘massive deficit’, with Ireland currently engaging in 200% more fawning, gushing and brown-nosing than the US. Trump addressed the imbalance during an Oval Office meeting, which saw Martin reach record levels of obsequiousness and servility. “Look, the Irish are very smart,… Read more »

March 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

AN OFFICIAL ceremony yesterday marked the renaming of TCD’s main library after poet Eavan Boring. It was formerly called after George Berk, who owned a slave plantation in America during the 1800s. “Research now categorically shows that Berk was neither a modern Irishwoman nor even a feminist poet,” said a Trinity spokesperson. “Today it is… Read more »

March 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Government officials have denied stunning revelations that Facebook officials were given a special phone providing direct access to the Irish government to resolve any issues they might encounter. Said one official: “We were doing all we could to try to encourage them to set up in Ireland in 2008. The last thing we’d do to… Read more »

March 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Fears are growing over the potentially horrific consequences that tariff war stories could have on the Irish people. President Trump’s threats of levying charges on imports from the EU has sparked widespread panic and uncertainty among journalists based here. Experts point to evidence that suggests there has been a massive increase in the number of… Read more »

March 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

RETURN OF the dismal dating show that sees a random group of ‘famous’ simpletons (Surely, singletons? – Ed.) searching for love while – here’s the hook – learning a cúpla focal. Kneecap eat your heart out! There are tantrums galore as Dublin Bay North’s bronzed beefcake, ‘Barra’ Heneghan, is so desperate to get equal speaking… Read more »

March 20, 2025 Craic & Codology

Sinn Féin press officers are said to be reeling following the latest scandal to hit the party. In an entirely unprecedented and shocking 24 hours, no TDs or officials associated with the party were arrested. Said a visibly shaken Mary Lou McDonald: “We can only apologise to our supporters for this lamentable drop in standards…. Read more »