By Our Political Staff Dee Sade
A huge storm erupted yesterday after it emerged that the CIA has been using Westlife’s music to torture prisoners in Afghanistan. The news has prompted an outcry from ex-members of the group
An angry Shane Filan last night told reporters: “This is an absolute outrage that has caused untold pain – considering that we still haven’t heard a word about unpaid royalties.”
OTHER WESTLIFE SIDE EFFECTS
- Sensory deprivation and feelings of nausea as newspapers print full-colour pics of the band.
- Sudden mood swings when music-lovers recall what they were really like.
- Extra pounds put in band’s coffers as gullible under-10s download such all-time classics as Flying Without Songs and You Bring Me Down.