Craic & Codology

FG reach consensus on right to reelection

By Our Entire Staff

Following a stormy meeting of the parliamentary party, Fine Gael TDs have reached broad agreement on their right to be reelected. “They locked James Reilly in a closet and got on with discussing the Eighth Amendment,” revealed a source. “There was a consensus reached that something needs to be done to help those most at risk, ie TDs in danger of losing their seats.”
At one of his hourly press conferences yesterday, health minister Leo Varadkar emphasised the courageousness of the Government’s approach. “The nation is currently grappling with one of the burning questions of our time,” said Vlad. “Namely, who should succeed Enda as leader of our party. Clearly that should by myself, not Coveney. As for the James Reilly controversy – Mr Reilly simply craves attention and wants to get his name in the paper.”
A furious Vlad concluded by saying, “His behaviour is totally outrageous. Going on solo runs and hogging the headlines – that’s my job.”

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