Craic & Codology

POLL RESULT: PUBLIC PREFER SIMPLER FIANNA FÁIL SCANDALS

SIMPLER TIMES: The poll showed the public yearned for the days when politicians looked as dodgy as they actually were

IN A major boost for Fianna Fáil, the vast majority of Irish people “do not fully understand recent government scandals” and yearn for the “more straightforward crookedness and malpractice of the Soldiers of Destiny”, according to a shock new study.

“I lost track of this whistle blower thing after Zappone came back from America,” complained one man turning off Vincent Browne last night.

“Typical Fine Gael not to care about the ordinary voter. It’s even more complicated than Baldy Noonan and the hepatitis B. Say what you like about Fianna Fáil but they always keep it simple, whether it’s bribes, drunk driving, avoiding tax or even Ivor Callely. I can’t wait for them to get back in!”