| SIMON COVENEY | LEO VARADKAR |
|---|---|
| Highly ambitious grey man in suit | Highly ambitious gay man in suit |
| Tediously smug and smarmy | Tediously smug and flashy |
| Keen on shameless self-promotion | Keen on shameless self-promotion |
| Never shoots from the hip | Always shoots from the lip |
| Resents anyone invading his privacy | Resents anyone invading his publicity |
| On course for mission impossible | On course for mission implausible |
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