Craic & Codology

VARADKAR’S 10-POINT PLAN FOR GOVERNMENT

1 Everyone in the country to be much better off

2 Particularly those who get up early in the morning

3 Special tax cuts for private sector workers who rise at dawn

4 Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

5 Public Service shirkers to finally get their comeuppance

6 Outlaw all future strike action by layabout gardai, nurses, teachers, etc.

7 Abolish Simon Coveney’s Help-to-Buy-Votes scheme

8 Abolish Coveney, O’Connell and similar troublemakers

9 Appoint that little upstart Harris to new post in Leinster House car-park (in charge of essential latrine duties)

10 That’s it for the moment