Craic & Codology

Medical Matters

This week Dr Meehole Martin warns against the dangers of opening one’s mouth without checking with getting the proper advice first.

AS A doctor I am very alarmed by recent reports of verbal diarrhoea, or Leosloosetongue as its medically known.

What seems to have happened is that some young upstart decided to start mouthing off distasteful rubbish about the noble gardaí without first acquiring an opinion from myself as to whether it was ok to do so. The predictable consequence was that the damn thing rapidly spread into every home in the country.

In no time every man, woman and garsún was exhibiting the familiar symptoms of head nodding and rapid hand movements known as ‘clapping’, while spewing out their own variations of the malady.

The only known cure for this awful affliction is a dose of a new miracle drug called GeneralElecshun, but it can only be called for when your consulting physician (ie me) decides the time is right.