Craic & Codology

SHOCK NEW VATICAN EXPOSÉ!

vatican pope

THE Catholic Church has been rocked by new revelations that a religious sub-culture may exist at the Vatican. According to reports, there is a shadowy circle in the Church hierarchy who openly say Mass and engage in intense prayer sessions for hours at a time.

“Obviously, there’s a lot of back-scratching and self-congratulatory orgies,” says a Vatican insider, “particularly when discussing the Pope’s public appearances. But recently a group of us took a break from organising nightclub meet-ups on Grindr and came across a couple of priests casually talking about clerical matters.”

Meanwhile, following Pope Francis’s suggestion that feminism is “machismo with a skirt”, the Vatican have angrily dismissed claims of a sexist outlook. “I am totally progressive,” said one outraged priest. “I was just saying so to my housekeeper the other night whilst we were discussing child maintenance payments.”


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