THE Catholic Church has been rocked by new revelations that a religious sub-culture may exist at the Vatican. According to reports, there is a shadowy circle in the Church hierarchy who openly say Mass and engage in intense prayer sessions for hours at a time.
“Obviously, there’s a lot of back-scratching and self-congratulatory orgies,” says a Vatican insider, “particularly when discussing the Pope’s public appearances. But recently a group of us took a break from organising nightclub meet-ups on Grindr and came across a couple of priests casually talking about clerical matters.”
Meanwhile, following Pope Francis’s suggestion that feminism is “machismo with a skirt”, the Vatican have angrily dismissed claims of a sexist outlook. “I am totally progressive,” said one outraged priest. “I was just saying so to my housekeeper the other night whilst we were discussing child maintenance payments.”
“Brexit deadline extended to 2092” – Page 7