Craic & Codology

BUDGET 2020 – WHAT THE PARTY LEADERS WANT

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Leo Varadkar

Award tax cuts to our early rising friends in the corporate sector’s upper tiers naturally, but we simply must incentivise the proles to put in an extra effort by ring-fencing a guarantee that they will not be forgotten in Budget 2024, subject to Brexit. Read that back to me so I can hear how it sounds.
– Taoiseach Leo Varadkar
Eamon Ryan
Do you know that 92% of carbon dioxide emissions are caused by people breathing out?! 92%! We need to see a levy on respiring and incentives introduced to bring our exhaled emissions home in a recyclable paper bag and disposed of in a white bin.
– Eamon Ryan, Green Party

Brendan Howlin
This nation’s past is too easily misjudged and discarded in our foolhardy rush into the unknown. We must have measures introduced to encourage the restoration of our dilapidated, half-forgotten relics and institutions. Hello? We’re over here….
– Brendan Howlin, Labour Party

Micheál Martin

Put me down for whatever Mr Varadkar says as always…
– Micheál Martin, Fianna Fáil.