Craic & Codology

IRISH WATER FEAR EXCUSES DRYING UP

DROUGHT

by Our Environmental Staff – Phil Bucket

Irish Water issued a renewed warning last night that the company is facing “a major shortage of excuses” over the coming months.

A spokesperson for the waterless utility said: “We are currently experiencing an exceptional drought of credible reasons to explain why we have simply not been able to do the job we are paid to do.”

In the meantime, Irish Water has urged consumers to be prepared for further restrictions next week. “We might well be forced to take drastic measures,” said the spokesperson, “by putting a nationwide ban on excuses for why we’ve completely failed to invest in modernising the system and are making a hames of everything.”