Goldhawk's Nuggets

Martina Fitzgerald
RTÉ WOMAN IN TRAUMATIC NEWS SHOCK!

Date: December 13, 2018 - Craic & Codology

Martina Fitzgerald “PAUL WHO?” FOLLOWING THE surprise replacement (surely ‘shafting’ – Ed) of Martina Fitzgerald as political correspondent at Montrose last week, there has been uproar both inside and outside RTÉ. The appointment of the clearly male Paul Cunningham to the position has raised the… Read more »

Simon Harris
SIMON’S SIMPLE PLAN

Date: December 13, 2018 - Craic & Codology

By Corry Dore In his latest move to reassure the Irish public, health minister Simon Harris has promised to “reduce crowding and offer faster diagnoses” of HSE scandals in the New Year. The move follows complaints that scandals are being crammed alongside each other into… Read more »

Protest
DUBLIN ACCOMMODATION CRISIS

Date: December 13, 2018 - Craic & Codology

Junior ministers protest over expenses THE CRISIS surrounding Dublin’s hotel accommodation costs took a turn for the worst last night, with fears now rampant that some Fine Gael junior ministers may be reduced to availing of B&B accommodation. The grim news comes after rural ministers… Read more »

Christmas decoration
BREXIT CHRISTMAS MENU

Date: December 13, 2018 - Craic & Codology

Starters Humble Pie Waffle Spring Rollover Mains Peas (best before Good Friday 1998) Chuck a l’orange Cooked Goose with Belly-up of Pork Off the Trolley Irish Border Fudge Fruits of Office (with added sweeteners) To Drink EU Whines

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ODE TO LILLIE’S

Date: December 13, 2018 - Craic & Codology

Farewell thee well then Lillie’s Not really a bordello I never went there Unlike Jagger and Bono Strutting their stuff So I read in the Sindo In Barry Ego’s old guff And I didn’t go to Lillie’s Cos reading that sh*te Was more than enough… Read more »

Banker burning money
IRISH BANK CULTURE BOARD FAQs

Date: December 13, 2018 - Craic & Codology

Q: What is the purpose behind this initiative? A: To correct the grave misconception that all bankers are greasy-palmed, money-grabbing vultures. In fact, some are not. Q: How do we know this isn’t a well-planned PR stunt to win back respect after a litany of… Read more »

Grease-Mogg
WEST END CHRISTMAS FAVOURITES

Date: December 13, 2018 - Craic & Codology

Grease-Mogg Revival of the classic kitsch musical about a rebellious aristocratic Tory MP who falls passionately in love with himself. Trouble starts when he tries to act cool in front of his unruly pal Boris. Slick toe-tapping numbers include ‘Euro The One No One Wants’… Read more »

Leo Kylie new CD
THIS YEAR’S MUST-HAVE CHRISTMAS ALBUM!

Date: December 13, 2018 - Craic & Codology

Includes: * Especially For Me * I Believe in Publicity * Spinning Around (as usual) *Can’t Get EU Out of My Head * I Should Be So Lucky (for now) Singalong with Leo this Yuletide (…or else!) BEST BOOKS FOR XMAS 2018

Red Christmas decorations
CHRISTMAS GIFTS 2018

Date: December 13, 2018 - Craic & Codology

The Roy Keane team motivator kit From conkers to Champions League, whatever game you’re playing at, fine tune your side’s determination with this unique motivation package from Ireland’s utmost sidekick! Each kit contains:  Three ferocious beards – seething stubble, growling growth or bristling bush 75… Read more »

HSE logo
THAT HSE €30M WINTER PLAN

Date: December 13, 2018 - Craic & Codology

THE Minister for Health has promised to solve hospital overcrowding this winter by introducing a “new and innovative approach”. Winter Plan (in full) n Sick people to remain at home during the cold winter months n Wrap up warm and watch Casualty and Doctors on… Read more »

STD-3624
SPOT THE DIFFERENCE 3624

Date: December 13, 2018 - Craic & Codology, Spot the Difference

KYLIE MINOGUE LEO VARADKAR Sells out concerts Sells out the poor Famous for gold pants Famous for being pants Cheesy music Cheesy administration Dated INXS singer Dated and excessive Spinning Around Spinning Appeared in Neighbours Appears out of his depth Shifted millions of records Shifted… Read more »