NAUGHTEN CLARIFIES DINNER DATES AND RELEASES MINUTES

Date: October 18, 2018 - Craic & Codology

Embattled former minister Denis Naughten today launched a four-square riposte to his critics (Vlad) who forced his resignation. “I did not have four dinner engagements with David McCourt,” he insisted. “It was one dinner but spread over four occasions. First we had the starter. That… Read more »

I HEAR YOU NAUGHTEN

Date: October 18, 2018 - Craic & Codology

(Lyrics by L Varadkar. With apologies to Dave Bartholomew) You went away and left me a short time ago Now you’re knocking all day upon my door I hear you Naughten, but you can’t come in I hear you knocking, go back to Roscommon I… Read more »

SEÁN GALLAGHER’S 60-SECOND PITCH

Date: October 18, 2018 - Craic & Codology

Since the dawn of time, this great little country on the edge of Europe has punched above its weight, to be or not to be, that is. The question I put to you now is, do you want your old lobbying washed down? Because it’s… Read more »

LEINSTER HOUSE LEXICON

Date: October 18, 2018 - Craic & Codology

• OPPOSITION (common noun) – Body of docile persons who always agree with the government. E.g. “The Fianna Fáil Opposition is totally committed to wholehearted support of Mr Varadkar’s administration on all issues.” • Leader of the Opposition (insubstantive noun) – Person who is even more… Read more »

MICHAEL D RENTS GAFF SHOCK

Date: October 18, 2018 - Craic & Codology

Official staff wing “I abhor these awful Dragons and their money-making schemes” Other family residences guarded by rabid Bernese mountain dogs Garage full of unsold copies of Michael D’s brilliant poetry books ATM cashpoint “Who says I’m doing nothing to combat homelessness?” Miggeldy making passionate speech… Read more »

THOSE CABINET CHANGES IN FULL

Date: October 18, 2018 - Craic & Codology

Minister for gritted teeth: Regina Doherty Minister for martyrs: Frances Fitzgerald Minister for women’s liberation: Simon Harris  Minister for Noel Grealish: Joe McHugh  Minister for optics: Richard Bruton

TV LISTINGS

Date: October 18, 2018 - Craic & Codology

• Finding Joy — RTÉ One, 9pm: Uplifting sitcom in which an under-fire Montrose producer finds a formula for success: “We’ll just ask Amy if she’s free to do a new series.” Predictable.

MY FAVOURITE HALLOWEEN MOVIES

Date: October 18, 2018 - Craic & Codology

with Donald Clarke Galway 2020 Horror A disturbing tale of what happens when a remote Irish town is suddenly chosen to become European Capital of Culture. Something creepy starts when a curious band of accountants take possession of a spine-chilling budget of €46 million. Overnight, they… Read more »

NÓIRÍN O’SULLIVAN – AN APOLOGY

Date: October 18, 2018 - Craic & Codology

Some readers may have, in the now distant past, taken inference from reports in this, and indeed all, newspapers that we considered former Garda Commissioner Nóirín O’Sullivan to be a person of suspect character. Headlines such as ‘Nóirín O’Shady’, ‘Cop yourself on Nóirín and GO!!!’… Read more »

LABOUR PARTY RECRUITING – LABOUR WANTS YOU!

Date: October 18, 2018 - Craic & Codology

Following a number of recent vacancies and a report by the Labour Innovation, Management and Performance (LIMP) group, we are now inviting applicants for roles at all levels of the party. But especially at the top. Desirable attributes include: Endless optimism Strong faith in the… Read more »

REFERENDUM GUIDE

Date: October 18, 2018 - Craic & Codology

If the proposed 37th Amendment to the Constitution is passed, the following statements will no longer be considered blasphemous: There are better sports than hurling  Amy Huberman wouldn’t be my cup of tea  No I haven’t watched the ‘Handmaid’s Tale’  Brendan O’Connor is a bit… Read more »

MCGREGOR: ‘TURN AWAY FROM VIOLENCE’

Date: October 18, 2018 - Craic & Codology

IN HIS first public comment since being mauled by Russian fighter ‘Doner’ Kebab Nurmagomedov, former UFC champion Conor McGregor says the world should “follow my example and abandon the use of violence” to resolve conflict. “I am a massive believer in the power of passive… Read more »