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T.V. Listings
Retro tv icon • What Are You Eating?  — Thursday, 8.30pm Philip Boucher-Hayes discovers the terrible damage that a non-stop diet of bland fillers and reheated leftovers can have on the digestive system. • Young Sheldon — Friday, 7.30pm An irritating young know-it-all (Simon Harris) provokes conflict and ridicule by... Read more »

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Doctor in the House (ON TOUR)
Doctor Varadkar It’s St Patrick’s Week in the Eoin O’Duffy Memorial Infirmary, aka Blueshirt General. As a skeleton staff keeps things running at home, hospital master Leo Varadkar visits the US on a promotional tour. First stop is a press conference in Washington with a celebrity former... Read more »

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Jamie Carragher Favourites
Jamie Carragher Favourite film: Waiting to Exhale Favourite song: Bad Habit,  The Offspring Favourite TV show: Spitting Image Favourite politician: Seán FlemingFavourite comedienne: Alison Spittle Favourite skill: Dribbling Favourite food: Spit-roast Favourite band: The Highwaymen Favourite coffee: Frothy Favourite instrument: Recorder Favourite athlete: Mark Spitz 

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Neil Jordan’s archive donations
Neil Jordan An Roinn Cultúir, Oidhreachta agus Gaeltachta / The Department of Culture, Heritage and the Gaeltacht The following items have been donated to the state by Neil Jordan:  10 million unsold DVDs of Byzantium 300 fawning Sunday Independent profiles Alternative ending to Michael Collins in which... Read more »

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NEIL JORDAN’S NEW FILMS
article-default Casabanka Gone with the Windfall 101 Donations Slumdog Double-Millionaire One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest Egg Taxes Chainsaw Massacre

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Finale by the numbers
Dancing with the stars 0: The level of interest since Marty Morrissey was eliminated 17: Teeth whitening kits used per show by Nicky Byrne300: Bitchy comments from Brian Redmond 50/50: Chance that Martin O’Neill and Roy Keane will take part in next year’s series 10,000,000 to 1: Odds of Amanda Byram ever... Read more »

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FEARS FOR FUTURE PHILANTHROPY
Denis O'Brien THERE were fears for the future of Independent News and Media last night amid indications that kind-hearted entrepreneur shareholder Denis O’Brien was curtailing his support for charitable projects. The compassionate Corkonian is known the world over for his unfettered benevolence towards the world’s more unfortunate... Read more »

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‘Beast’ in chilly interview with O’Donoghue
Tony O'Donoghue By Jack Frost THE BEAST from the East remained in typically foul mood last night as it conducted an uncomfortable interview with RTÉ reporter Tony O’Donoghue following its whirlwind visit to Ireland. Weather watchers were left squirming in their seats as the contrary weather pattern... Read more »

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Beast from the East Facts
Beast from the East Inuit people have over 50 words for snow but only one word for George Lee Temperatures dropped to Nigel Dodds levels of bitterness Putting Liveline on television is the only appropriate action during a national crisis Snow has a tendency to cause breathlessness in journalists... Read more »

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TV Listings
Retro tv icon Six Nations: Ireland vs Scotland, TV3 2PM: All the action from Ireland’s penultimate Six Nations clash.What key player will get injured, which rugby journalist will be banned and how many technical difficulties will TV3 have this week?

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FUTURE WEATHER EVENT NAMES
Weather Downpour Leo – typical twister behaviour with rapidly spinning hot airHailstone Harris – endless, deepening depression bringing cold comfort to everyone and worsening conditions everywhereHowling Howlin – extended gusts of wind ideally suited to flying a kiteShower of Healy-Rae’s – localised floods of tears for... Read more »

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MICHAEL D – SHOULD HE SEEK A SECOND TERM?
Michael D Higgins YES He’s very good at promoting the country It will keep him occupied Time is still on his side Just loves being in the limelight Has proved himself and got a new standing now Communicates in several foreign languages NO He’s far too good at... Read more »

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