Latest from the Blog:

THAT OBERSTOWN DETENTION FACILITY
  1. Katherine Zappone claiming that centre is “fit for purpose” (as an incinerator)
  2. Young detainees complaining of burnt toast (and buildings)
  3. Michael O’Leary telling everyone to go to hell
  4. Snipers in watch tower on lookout for newspaper hacks
  5. Small cringing man (E. Kenny) hiding behind smoke-screen
  6. Serious overcrowding problems – ten to a roof
  7. Zapper’s meteoric career going up in flames
  8. Pokémon Go player who wandered onto the site
IRELAND’S LOST TRIBES – No 65. The Noonanites.

The Noonanites – better known as the Baldbarians- were a strange but prominent tribe that roamed Ireland around 16 BC (Before Christmas).

Although scoffed at by the general population, they were also considered to be merciless and cruel by the many people who recalled their ruthless defence during the Great Battle of Hepatitis, which they eventually lost in the year 1AD (After Dukes) but only after perpetrating a savage onslaught on civilian resistance over a lengthy campaign.

The self-styled King of the Baldbarians was Michael, widely regarded as ‘the baldiest of them all’ and said to be happy only when people were paying the high taxes he imposed and doing what he said.

The beginning of the end came after many years of austere conditions under Michael’s reign when an army of European bureaucrats confronted the portly dictator and ordered him to punish his allies, the Appledorians and to seize their chattels that had been unfairly gained.

There was joy amongst the sick and homeless that at last they might get beds and even better doorways in which to sleep. However Michael flew into a rage and vowed to engage the bureaucrats in a battle that everyone knew would end like the hepatitis one. And so a great, weary sigh was heard across the land. (To be discontinued…)

MICHAEL O’LEARY’S STOCK RESPONSES: 

The EU – F*k off!
Passengers complaining about leg room – F*ck off!
Any horse that runs faster than a Gigginstown horse – F*ck off!
Aer Lingus – F*ck off!
People offended by blue jokes – F*ck off!