US Presidential hopeful Deez Nuts has ruled out taking a role in the Irish Cabinet. The 15-year-old has gained surprising traction for his candidacy, polling at up to 9% in one state, but has insisted a post in Enda Kenny’s government is not in the offing.
“I don’t want my election bid to be derailed by association with those clowns,” said Nuts. “I’m running a serious operation here and the last thing I need is to be mentioned alongside spoofers like Joan Burden and Mike Nonsense.
They’re a total joke with no credibility. They might provide a bit of colour for the press, but everyone knows they’re a ludicrous outfit with zero substance.”