Craic & Codology

What the Budget means for you

Phoenix BW

A housebound single male parent reflects…

“Having prayed for seven hours for seven days in the seven weeks prior to the budget, I felt sure that the finance minister would listen to the advice of a Greater Power and provide some relief for people in my circumstances. While the mothers of my three children gain €5 per child, I linger in here, dependent on the charity of my bishop and the indulgence of former parishioners to cater for my needs while awaiting my appeal.”

BUDGET GUIDE

The Issues Government’s Thinking
Employment: Reduction in USC, few bob for self-employed, etc, should keep us in our jobs
Welfare: Have to look after poor Labour too
Transport: This brib… er, budget, should carry us into another five years

 

How Enda decided on election date

  • Be nice to knock another few months out of it
  • Might even squeeze in another St. Patrick’s Day trip
  • And maybe some foreign bloke will announce a factory for Mayo in the meantime
  • Then again, this is probably as good as it gets
  • Whatever I decide, I have to be strong and decisive!
  •  Here we go…
  • Tails it is then… for spring.

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