by Our Political Staff Henry McGoo
The American political scene was rocked today following a 24-hour period during which Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump did not insult any minorities on television. Throughout that time, there were no reports of Mr Trump mocking disabled journalists or making racist remarks about Mexican immigrants being drug-crazed criminals and rapists.
“I know it was wrong and I know it was a mistake – but I just couldn’t help myself,” the outspoken billionaire told reporters. “But I can assure my faithful god-fearing supporters that I have learned my lesson. Indeed, when I address them in Vulture Gulch, Nebraska, tomorrow night, I will be calling for the mass extermination of all non-white Muslim terrorists on the planet.”
Meanwhile, Mr Trump’s wife told reporters that she was saddened and disappointed by her husband’s latest behaviour. “It’s completely out of character for Donald not to be controversial – but that’s what attracted me to him in the first place and I will be standing by the wealthy lunatic.”