Craic & Codology

FRESH GARDA DEMANDS

Garda sergeants and inspectors say they are not at all happy with current deployment policies within the force.
“As first responders dealing with the constant threat of radical extremism and international terrorism, the lads need to be equipped with air-to-ground missiles fired by aerial drones and low-yield nuclear weapons,” said
a spokesman yesterday.
Following their annual conference, the Association of Garda Sergeants and Inspectors (AGSI) also threatened to march on the Dáil on the first day of the new government in protest over pay and conditions.
“We intend to bring city centre traffic to a complete standstill,” added the spokesman. “So everything will be exactly as normal.”

AGGRO Demands (in full)

  • Some basic guidelines on solving crimes
  • End to “good cop” involvement in interrogations
  • The usual free passes into Copper Face Jacks
  • More John Grisham paperbacks for use during surveillance duties

(That’s enough Garda demands – Ed.)

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