“As you know, I have been widely applauded for releasing details of my tax returns and have now proven beyond doubt that I have nothing at all to worry about as regards my finances. Personally, I feel very lucky to have had a supportive family that taught me to appreciate the important things in life, such as always being polite to the servants and nanny.
“Yes, we were given little birthday presents and regular pocket money from my father, but his investments were all legally above board and British people respect that. I certainly do.
“Sadly, Jeremy Corbyn and other Marxist nerds simply don’t understand global economics. For instance, ordinary upper crust people like Dad inherit lots of cash and then prudently stash it in high-interest tax havens until it’s really needed. They then have much more to spend right here in Britain on quality bubbly and sending their sons to Eton – and that benefits everyone.”
RTÉ REVEAL LIKELY VIEWING FIGURES FOR GENERATION WHAT