FAMILY FEUD NOTICES
A northside gang is delighted to announce the torture and subsequent beheading of a close associate of a rival clan. The funeral will take place next Friday at Church of The Holy Ghost followed by tea and cakes and then a hit on one or more of the rival gang sometime after 10pm that night.
KELLY Alan (Portroe, Co Tipperary) – brother of slightly brighter sibling Declan. Last seen as Minister for the Enviornment before going missing on the back benches. We miss you shouting your mouth off and acting the complete prat. We pray that one day you’ll be back in Portroe starting fights outside the Kebab shop.
ITEMS FOR SALE
• Art Collection – 670 Unsold Portraits of Vendor for sale at knock down price! No time wasters. Cash offers only!
Email offers to: firstname.lastname@example.org
DONALD TRUMP ON TARGET