Craic & Codology

Medical Matters

This week Dr Lynn Boylan (S.F.M.E.P.) gives the lowdown on the debilitating condition of spinelessness

As a doctor, people often say to me: “Why is there so little backbone in Irish politics and journalism anymore and what can we do to restore it?”

What happens is, the more the unfortunate cowa… er, victim bends over backwards, bows down or even cowers into a ball, as the pressure renders the backbone – or Afraidodenis as we in the medical profession laughingly call it – a useless heap of jelly that offers no resistance and can’t even hold one’s head up.

The sufferer very soon becomes totally spineless and reduced to a quivering, grovelling wretch unable to walk tall and pathetically trying to assert some kind of posture while scrambling from one low crouched stance to the next.

I firmly recommend standing up at all times to improve the balance.

And if that fails, get a job in Independent News and Media.