Category: Medical Matters

MEDICAL MATTERS

Medical Matters

A Consultant Writes: As a very important senior doctor who practises in one of the elite medical specialties, I am often asked, “What exactly is wrong with the Minister of Health?” The simple answer is that Mr Harris is suffering from a routine government condition... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

MEDICAL MATTERS

Medical Matters

This week Dr L S Dee warns against cannabis addiction As a doctor, I am often asked what is a safe amount of cannabis to take before I go to work, sit my exams, say Mass or whatever? The answer of course is there is... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

MEDICAL MATTERS

Medical Matters

A Doctor Writes: EARLY morning sickness, or Nausea Meghanonia Normalis to give it its correct medical title, is a highly contagious condition currently associated with the tabloid press. Usually, the patient suddenly becomes violently sick as a result of being exposed to yet another inane... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

MEDICAL MATTERS

Medical-matters-Harris

This week shock specialist Dr Simon Harris reflects on what it’s like to feel stunned. As a doctor, people often say to me, ’Doctor, I am in a terrible state of shock and I don’t know whose fault it is! How can this be?!” Of... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

MEDICAL MATTERS

Medical matters

This week Dr Simon Harris reflects on his recent narrow escape. As a doctor I am often asked, ‘Do transplants really work?’ The answer is they certainly worked for me last week. The problem was a huge blockage had developed in my career prospects after... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

MEDICAL MATTERS

Medical matters Harris

This week, Dr Simon Harris examines a contagious condition affecting the nursing profession As a doctor I am often asked, ‘Why are those nurses outside walking up and down with placards and is there any cure?’ The unfortunate creatures are suffering from what is medically... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

MEDICAL MATTERS

Medical Matters - Mary-Lou

This week Dr Old McDonald (SF) ponders an awkward affliction that affects people trying to handle things properly. As a doctor, I am often asked if there is any cure at all for the condition known as ‘cack-handed’ or notas cleveras gerri as it is... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

MEDICAL MATTERS

Tony O'Brien

This week renowned stayputologist Dr. Tony O’Brien gets round to discussing the folly of making rash decisions. As a doctor I am often asked, ‘why the hell don’t you resign now and not drag this out any longer?” The simple answer is, “How dare you?!... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

Medical Matters

Medical Matters

This week Dr Leo Vacuous wonders aloud about the dire affliction of shrugging. As a doctor people often ask me about the awful condition known as “shrugging” and whether it will ever be eradicated. I haven’t a clue what causes it but what happens is... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

Medical Matters

Medical matters prone

With Dr Terry Prone I AM often asked about the dangers of populism (or acutis referendumis non suspicious at allus, to use the correct medical terminology). Unfortunately, there has been a surge in this condition recently with its life-threatening implications – particularly for those in... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

Medical Matters

Doctor Rhona writes: AS THE country’s most famous maternity doctor, I often hear patients say: “Doctor, I’m absolutely exhausted.” Well, my usual response is, “Yes, I know all about it.” It’s at that point I’m normally asked: “So how on earth do you cope with... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

Medical Matters

Dr Fintan Tool writes… As an all-round expert on women’s rights – including fertilisation, sterilisation and the whole mystical childbirth experience, I am often asked to explain the complexities of the new National Maternity Hospital saga. Of course, to clarify this highly contentious issue in... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

Medical Matters

This week Dr Alan Shatter delivers a prognosis on why some ailments drag on and on and on and on… AS A doctor people often say to me, “why does it sometimes take so long for problems to be diagnosed? Of course the answer is... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

Medical Matters

Medical Matters

AS an INM spin doctor, I am often asked: “Doctor, there’s something very wrong with my company. Can you save it?” The short answer is no. This is because all the top executives suffer from a condition known as Swollen Salary Syndrome (or Corporatus Blottus... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

Medical Matters

with Spin Doctor Simon As a spin doctor, I’m often asked: “Doctor, do you have a hospital bed for me?” The simple answer is: “No, of course not.” What happens is that the patient is at death’s door and is referred to the nearest public... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

Medical Matters

This week Dr Lynn Boylan (S.F.M.E.P.) gives the lowdown on the debilitating condition of spinelessness As a doctor, people often say to me: “Why is there so little backbone in Irish politics and journalism anymore and what can we do to restore it?” What happens... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

Medical Matters

THIS week young Doctor Simon Whatsisname considers the risks associated with pneumonia, which threatens up to one American political life every four years. As an important doctor people often ask me: “Doctor, how can I avoid catching pneumonia?” I always say to make sure your... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

Medical Matters

This week Dr Michael Noonan, (B.A.L.D.Y.) reflects on the ludicrous side of his work Being a doctor well known throughout Europe I often get some very silly people seeking my intercession. Last week, for example, a Danish woman, who was obviously unstable and suffering from... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

Medical Matters

This week Dr Phil Hogan considers the dangers of jumping too fast AS A doctor I am always very alert for incidents whereby people get their foot firmly stuck in their mouth, or Dailymailius Teeveethreenium, as it is called in the medical profession. What happens... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

MEDICAL MATTERS

This week, top pulmonologist Dr. Liam Doran offers advice on not breathing a word  As a very important doctor I am often asked, ‘Should I wrap up much as possible this time of year, doc?’ The answer is Yes – it’s particularly important to keep... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber

MEDICAL MATTERS

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] Doctor Vlad writes: As a practising Health Minister, I am often asked: “What are you doing about the 600 people on trolleys in emergency units?” Well, the short answer is that there is never an easy solution to these kinds of serious medical crises, especially... Read more »

To access this content, you must be a Phoenix subscriber.

Get access to The Phoenix online for as low as €1.50 per week. Read all the regular online only Phoenix stories AND receive the packed digital edition every fortnight (25 per year). Great value for so many inside stories!

Subscribe Now! I'm a Subscriber