2019 is going to be even more beautiful because it will be so special. That means I will be making a VERY big announcement. BIG. It’s currently so classified that people will have to wait a little longer before hearing about my top-secret plans to run for the presidency in 2020. I will also appoint Kanye West as Secretary of State, so the American people are gonna have even more money – especially rich people. Meanwhile, our friends in the Third World and Britainland will benefit as a valuable future market for our delicious chlorinated chicken, hormone-crazed hogs and assault rifles.
(That’s enough predictions – Ed.)