Craic & Codology


Ed Honohan squares up to a rogue banker
Ed Honohan squares up to a rogue banker

Honohan: Next filthy rich financial institution versus downtrodden, gambling borrower please!

Mr Creepiecrawlie for the bank: My client seeks to have €900,000 in borrowings prior to the 2001 Cheltenham festival returned forthwith Mr Master.

Mr Smiley Barrister for the farmer:  Cheltenham was abandoned that year, so technically the loan never occurred and, therefore, my client seeks to have the case dismissed, your Masterness. My client only signed it because he thought it was a raffle ticket.

H: These are difficult issues to grapple with but, on the balance of matters, it is hard to avoid coming to the conclusion that this farmer has behaved in a manner likely to lead to significant losses. Who is to blame for such an outcome? Some might point the finger at the shameless bank.

Mr C: But, Judge, sorry Master …

H: I am inclined to invoke the wisdom of Solomon and split the share of the blame between both parties, but will also order that, on this occasion, €1m be paid in compensation to the feckless farmer.

Mr C: My minted clients will find that hard to swallow.

H: At least they won’t be spending a night freezing on the streets. If I had my way… Next bunch of b**stards!