Craic & Codology


Operation Transformation

With the hit RTÉ show having determined Leo Varadkar’s metabolic age, its latest test measures the expected level of bolloxology from leading personalities versus their actual output.

PASCHAL – Weight: 22 stone

Fat Paschal
Bolloxology levels dramatically greater than expected, especially in relation to explanations of cost over-runs at national children’s hospital. Chronic addiction to sugary PR.

MIRIAM – Weight: 27 stone

Fat Miriam
Exceptionally high bolloxology levels thanks to ubiquitous media presence. Coverage of legal action against Facebook over face-cream ads filled newspapers to bursting point.

JOHN – Weight: 25 stone

Fat Delaney
Record-breaking bolloxology levels thanks to sundry factors, including gargantuan salary, massive failures (League of Ireland, Aviva stadium debt, World Cup qualification campaign etc) and fat chance of Euro qualification. Has a 95% chance of giving Irish supporters a pain in the rear end within next 12 months.

deAn - work on arms