In a shock U-turn, doctors have warned ill patients to no longer rely on touching the hem of an Irish rugby international, or even on praying to Johnny Sexton.
Following the Grand Slam win and the All-Blacks defeat, many doctors referred patients to training grounds across the country with a prescription to touch anyone or anything associated with Irish rugby. Miracle cures were reported throughout the nation as faith proved restorative.
“Under no circumstances should anyone put their faith in these green placebos,” warned one concerned GP in Wicklow yesterday. “You’d be better off in bed.”