Craic & Codology

THOSE STORMONT TALKS IN FULL

Stormont

The Stormont parties have agreed that the Executive will be restored on the following conditions:

  • Irish government to reschedule those cancelled Garth Brooks concerts
  • Marriages of convenience to be outlawed (Tories and DUP etc)
  • Hector Ó hEochagáin to be appointed Irish language ambassador to the unionist community
  • Jim Allister to be decommissioned
  • Ian Paisley Jr to be the official mascot of Fáilte Ireland
  • Alliance Party to tone down their smugness
  • Fianna Fáil to apologise for throwing Sorcha McAnespy under the bus
  • Aontú to be given special protected status