Craic & Codology

BUDGET 2020 SUMMARY

Health

  • 2,000 trolleys in hospital corridors to get new wheels over next 10 years, with the remaining 700 to be oiled.
  • HSE apologies to be streamlined, with admission of culpability and compensation payments to be made six months earlier than in 2019.

Environment

  • Shane Ross emissions to be reduced by 50%.
  • 15% increase in efforts to get the FAI to come clean.
  • No more trees to die to facilitate further books of ‘wisdom’ by Michael Healy-Rae.

Housing

  • Eoghan Murphy to create 2,500 new expectations before the next general election.
  • Supports to be put in place immediately to stop the roof falling in on Minister Murphy.
  • Charities that help rough sleepers to be given five extra pats on the back.

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