By Dee Sgustin
In another sensational interview this week, Prince Andrew has defended his spending time with the royal family for years, despite public concern about their behaviour.
The prince says he understands alarm among British tax payers over the number of children the family has been having, but says his loyalty “brought considerable benefits” as he strived to find something to do.
“They do an amazing bangers & mash with spotted dick and a pot of tea with two slices for a tenner, only three stops away on the tube,” he explained. “That’s also where I was the night Diana died by the way, in case you think I was driving a white Fiat Uno in Paris at the time.”
However, the public is sceptical of the prince’s story. “No way would get that kind of nosh for just a tenner,” said one cynic. “The bloke was definitely indulging in unsavoury behaviour – such as jetting around the world, lounging on tropical islands and stuffing his face with oysters below deck – at everyone else’s expense! What a pillock!”