Category: Hush Hush

CONCERNS OVER PEACEFUL TRANSITION OF POWER

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 9 January 2025

Harris and Martin

Fears are growing throughout the democratic world about the implications of November’s general election result, which saw voters shockingly opt for another term of chaos. While the consequences of the ballot are yet to be fully felt, it’s expected that petty squabbles, meaningless feuds and breathtaking incompetence will be the hallmarks of the upcoming administration…. Read more »

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CABINET FORMATION TALKS LATEST

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 9 January 2025

Leinster House

Defence: Simon Harris really dug in about a rotating Taoiseach Health: Fianna Fáil desperate to recover from the Stephen Donnelly fiasco Foreign affairs: Darragh O’Brien should be sent packing from his ministerial brief Law and order: Paschal Donohoe trying to arrest his growing unpopularity Agriculture: Helen McEntee worried about getting ditched from justice Social Protection:… Read more »

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CALL FOR BORDER POLL POLL

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 9 January 2025

Mary Lou McDonald

Amidst a perceived lack of enthusiasm, Sinn Féin leader Mary Lou McDonald has called for a border poll to decide whether the people of the province and the Republic want a border poll or not. “It’s time that the people on both sides of the border were given the democratic chance to decide whether they… Read more »

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THOSE ‘DANCING WITH THE STARS’ CONTESTANTS

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 9 January 2025

Micheal Martin DWTS

Micheál Martin Decades of fancy footwork, countless U-turns and kicking cans down the road show the value of flip-flopping but never quite facing the music. Micheál’s success also proves the importance of side-stepping, glitzy grey suits and spray-on policies. Mary Lou McDonald A tendency to veer left and right simultaneously has sometimes left Mary Lou… Read more »

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TRUMP SETS HIS SIGHTS ON IRISH INFRASTRUCTURE

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 9 January 2025

Trump

In one of his first speeches of 2025, president-elect Donald J Trump has threatened to take control of the West Link toll bridge. Following on from his threat to retake the Panama Canal, the West Link has now drawn his ire, with Trump claiming that eFlow charges US tourists “exorbitant prices” on their way to… Read more »

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WORLDWIDE APPROVAL FOR MUSK’S NEW NAME

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 9 January 2025

Elon Musk

There was widespread approval across the globe last night after multi-zillionaire business tycoon Elon Musk changed his name to Maximus Totallus Gobshyteus. “It suits him perfectly,” said one excited X devotee, his middle finger pointing upwards out of habit. “It’s the perfect name for him now that he spends his time hanging out with Mr… Read more »

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THOSE GOLDEN VISAS REVELATIONS

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 9 January 2025

Golden visa

by Arthur Beastly WIDESPREAD OUTRAGE spread throughout the country last night after it emerged that there were no official records about the assorted jammy beneficiaries of the state’s self-styled ‘golden visa’ scheme. The programme, launched in 2012 to encourage investment from completely unknown foreign investors based around the globe (China), was shut down in 2023… Read more »

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NEW YEAR PREDICTIONS

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 9 January 2025

New Year Fireworks

♦ The new taoiseach and tánaiste will continue to work closely together, taking turns on pointing the finger at each other for any failures ♦ In a courageous break with party history, Roderic O’Gorman ditches all this unpopular green nonsense and finally gets involved in vote-getting politics ♦ White House to be renamed ‘The Extremely… Read more »

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ICY TEMPERATURE WARNING IN EFFECT FOR THE ENTIRE COUNTRY

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 9 January 2025

Ice warning

Met Éireann has reiterated its Yellow Snow warning, which will come back into effect for all counties until the weekend at the earliest. Met Éireann is warning of the possibility that a combination of significant snowfall and rogue teenagers could bring a blanket of snow with yellow patches to the country. “These conditions are very… Read more »

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THOSE JIMMY CARTER TRIBUTES

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 9 January 2025

Donald Trump

Donald Trump Most guys who work for peanuts are losers but Jimmy turned out to be a genius whose amazing work was tragically cut short by him having to seek re-election after four years. We must never allow that to happen again! Yoon Suk Yeol Though you failed to take full advantage of your time… Read more »

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WHAT NOW FOR THOSE BIG NAME LOSERS?

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

Stephen Donnelly

Stephen Donnelly Having demonstrated his skills with the Soc Dems and Fianna Fáil, Stephen is now considering sharing the leadership of other political parties but insists that he will only talk to anyone. Gerry ‘The Monk’ Hutch Despite being crucified by CAB, this ascetic figure continues his devout criminal lifestyle, wandering the back streets of… Read more »

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RTÉ HYPES NEW KEYES ADAPTATION

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

Marian Keyes

RTÉ is expecting to set a new hype-generation record with its upcoming adaptation of Marian ‘It’s not chic-lit’ Keyes’s huge-selling Walsh Sisters saga – which treads daring new ground in the comedy/drama field, featuring as it does the lives of women in their late 20s and 30s. “We think this will take viewers where they’ve… Read more »

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KEY POINTS OF THAT MERCOSUR TRADE DEAL

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

Mercosur

Meat: Politicians will continue talking tripe Transport: Farmers about to be taken for a ride Commerce: EU determined to sell out indigenous peoples Dairy: Usual suspects will continue to cream profits Poultry: Irish government will find a way to chicken out Climate: Environmentalists frozen out as usual

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GOLDHAWK PREVIEWS THE FESTIVE SEASON’S MOST POPULAR PANTOS

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

michael martin Gaeity panto

Frozen Out RTÉ royalty Claire Byrne decides to ditch her long-time agent, Noel Kelly, following an 18-month spell that was far from a fairytale. Noel is now forced to work for very large amounts of peanuts in order to keep himself in the style to which he has become accustomed. Goldilocks and Government Formation Goldilocks… Read more »

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MCGREGOR REACTS TO BRANDS RUNNING SCARED

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

Conor McGregor

CONOR McGREGOR has hit out at brands and businesses that cut ties with the one-time mixed martial arts fighter after his High Court knock-out. In a post on social media last night, the former UFC star said: “These cowardly snowflakes forget that my all-macho whiskey beats every other sissy brand on the market – and… Read more »

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IRISH CELEBS’ CHRISTMAS PLANS

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

Rory McIlroy

Rory McIlroy I spend a lot of time abroad but I’m very confident of having a good Christmas in Ireland after landing a few big turkeys this year. I’m hoping Santa brings me a new putter as my one seems a bit wonky. And my last one. And the one before that… Roy Keane For… Read more »

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BAND AID AT 40 (THOUSAND WORDS)

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

Budget Jack Chambers Nicki Minaj B’Tselem Phil Hogan UCD IRTA DIGI Katy Brown Rory Godson Pallonji Mistry Shark Hanlon Frances Ruane Taste of Dublin Listowel Writers’ Week Paddy Curran Harvey Norman Anton Savage Paul Hourican Enda O’Coineen PfP Red C Poll IFTA Ben Gilroy Luke Comer Sue Spence Fingleton Aubrey McCarthy Matt Cooper Parker Green Danny McConnell Gayle Killilea Maura Derivan Ed Honohan INS Arts Council EDAF Emuse Rosslare Golf Club Mairead Casey Colm O’Rourke Stephen Connolly Peter Aiken John Malone Tom Barry Anthony Halpin Ian Kehoe Kevin Bakhurst Geraldine O’Leary Dennis Horgan RUSI Gareth McAllister Ryevale House Joe Macken RUC Omagh Patrick Connolly Paddy Cosgrave The Ditch Newstalk Fake Tan Fred Logue Ian Paisley Sean O’Riordan Margaret Sweeney Jay Bourke Ellie Kisyombe Francesca McDonagh Ted Cunningham National Space Centre An Irish Goodbye Oscar Robert Quirke Ciara Kelly Executive Women Gathering Doug Taylor Florian Haufe Robbie Henshaw Bill Shipsey Breaking the Silence L’Ecrivain Ronan McNally National Lottery Michael Roche Energy Action Balls.ie Newspapers VAT Abbey Theatre Patricia Madden Irish Banking Culture Board Randox Aoife Gallagher Book Dalai Lama Trinity Trevor White RTÉ Chairperson Shane Houlihan Noel Smyth IKC Bob Geldof Landlord Ireland Neutrality Ukraine

By all entertainment hacks Forty years ago, Bob Geldof and Midge Ure revolutionised pop music with the all-time classic ‘Do They Know Bob Geldof Is A Genius?’ Since then, the song has become a festive staple, soundtracking countless retrospectives and documentaries, in which Yell-dof sounds off about his visionary musical ability. “I’m pretty fookin’ reclusive… Read more »

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FAI HAILS WOMEN’S PERFORMANCE

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

Katie McCabe

The FAI has expressed its enthusiasm for the women’s team’s recent form, saying their crushing play-off loss to Wales is in keeping with the identity of the organisation’s failings. Furthermore, the nature of the mortifying Aviva implosion – following a promising first leg – also parallels the men’s team’s capacity to self-destruct. “What we are… Read more »

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CHRISTMAS CELEBRITY CHARITY AUCTION!

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 12 December 2024

Eamon Ryan

We are happy to offer you the chance to bid on these exclusive items donated by the great and the good: • Book: How to Win Friends and Influence People, signed by Simon Harris • Assortment of Gregg Wallace’s pork pies • Roy Keane’s poppy • Eamon Ryan’s frequent-flyer card • FAI match programme with… Read more »

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