Category: Hush Hush

‘I AM NOT POLITICAL VISIONARY,’ INSISTS ZAPPONE

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 23 January 2025

Zappone

As she seeks election to the Seanad after returning to Ireland, Katherine Zappone has insisted that references to her as one of the greatest politicians of her generation have been barely exaggerated. Further, her radical platform will see her address the issue of major political controversies, with Zappone stating there is far too much focus… Read more »

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THAT UPDATED PROGRAMME FOR GOVERNMENT IN FULL

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 23 January 2025

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Inflation: Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael willing to pay a terrible price to get back into power Housing: Ministers to remain detached in their ivory towers Education: Coalition hoping Michael Lowry has learned his lesson Transport: Super junior ministers getting on board the gravy train Forestry: Michael Healy-Rae to keep an eye on all the… Read more »

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SIX NATIONS EXCITEMENT BUILDS

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 23 January 2025

six nations

Enoch Burke As someone who is regularly at the centre of media scrums, I’m really looking forward to this season’s championship getting under way. Having spent my fair share of time in the sin bin of late, I’m hoping for a good, clean contest. Michael D Higgins I’m generally a big supporter of neutrality but… Read more »

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THAT TRUMP INAUGURATION SPEECH

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 23 January 2025

Trump

As your First Felon, I am proud to grab the reins of power. Already I’ve delivered peace on earth. First time since our freedom fighters stormed the Alamo nuking those cowardly Alpacino tribes. Even Syrialand is jumpy. That’s because I made them end the fighting right now – over my dead body, not to mention… Read more »

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SPEAKING RIGHTS ROW ERUPTS

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 23 January 2025

Michael Lowry

OPPOSITION TDs have slammed moves by some members of the Regional Independent Group as they pledge their support for Michael Lowry to seek special rights to “speak out of both sides of his mouth”. Mr Lowry wants to take part in a new Dáil “technical group” allowing him and others to participate in Leaders’ Questions,… Read more »

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NOVEL NOT INCLUDED ON DUBLIN LITERARY AWARD LONGLIST

Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 23 January 2025

Literary Award

A novel published in the last year has controversially not been included on the Dublin Literary Award longlist, which otherwise includes every novel published globally in 2024, as authors compete for the €100,000 prize. The non-inclusion of the novel – about an 11th-century Bulgarian shepherd with no sex life – has sparked intense literary debate…. Read more »

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ALL HAIL KNEECAP!

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 23 January 2025

Kneecap

Exclusive by all entertainment hacks As they rack up award nominations and Oscar buzz for their debut feature film, Belfast rap trio Kneecap have become figureheads of the movement known as “post-modern neo Gailgeoir”, which was invented an hour ago by the editor of this publication as he ordered me to churn out another 1,000… Read more »

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THE MILE DRY CLUB

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 23 January 2025

Ryanair logo

Ryanair’s chief executive Michael O’Leary has revealed more details about the proposed two-drink limit at airports that the airline has been advocating for: • Passengers failing the mandatory breathalyser test at airport gate will be charged an excess-alcohol fee of €150 • Airport drink limit will not apply to Irish passport holders • No alcohol… Read more »

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BAN ON ‘XL POLITICIANS’ COMES INTO EFFECT

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 23 January 2025

XL Bully Ban

The ban on ‘XL Politicians’ is set to come into effect from February, as the new government commences its life in office. However, concerned welfare organisations have noted that many voters are simply abandoning their TDs, rather than listening to them waffle for another five years about how the interminable housing and health crises are… Read more »

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GOLDHAWK PROFILES THIS YEAR’S ‘LOVE ISLAND’ FAVOURITES

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 23 January 2025

heart and love

Michael Lowry Enjoys nothing better than lazing around on the beach but strenuously denies that he was involved in or knows anything about offshore activities. Will be wearing very little clothing because his dirty laundry is always being washed in public. Michael Healy-Rae Claims to be interested in a monogamous relationship but will hook up… Read more »

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ZUCKERBERG FED UP WITH EU BUSYBODIES

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 23 January 2025

Mark Zuckerberg

META CEO Mark Zuckerberg today renewed his attack on what he termed “unnecessary interference by EU busybodies”. In a video entitled “More money and fewer controls”, the Facebook founder said: “Although I have always declared my support for clear regulations to tame the worst excesses of the internet, this does not mean that I ever… Read more »

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TAYTO NOT NATO

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 23 January 2025

Tayto crisps

A new poem by Michael Twee I wondered lonely as a cow Munching my bag of Tayto When all at once I thought of how I’d really upset Nato What if, incensed by what I said, They try to bomb my baldy head? Oh why can all the world not see Like me and Gary… Read more »

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SUPER JUNIOR PERKS EXPLAINED

Craic & Codology, Hush Hush, 23 January 2025

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Accommodation: Plenty of featherbedding for the Independents Food: Junior ministers to be given free rein to talk tripe and behave in a ham-fisted manner Fuel: Lots of guff about having to stay up late to burn the midnight oil Relocation: Financial compensation for those TDs who are about to start living on another planet

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