Craic & Codology

Craic & Codology

MEDICAL MATTERS

Tony O'Brien

This week renowned stayputologist Dr. Tony O’Brien gets round to discussing the folly of making rash decisions.

As a doctor I am often asked, ‘why the hell don’t you resign now and not drag this out any longer?” The simple answer is, “How dare you?! Your children would be appalled!”

What is presented to the doctor is the condition known medically as outforbloodis, -sometimes also called wanthisheadonaplateria. Classic symptoms include constant knee-jerking, finger stabbing and even frothing at the mouth, along with rising blood pressure.

Tragically, what soon happens is that the good doctor himself becomes a victim of these attacks and is faced with a terrible dilemma. Should he dash for the door in the hope of saving his own skin or sit tight and hope the entire infection spreads to someone else?

If you feel a sudden impulse for blood coming on, please don’t tell anyone else and someone here will get back to you in a few years or so.