Craic & Codology


Medical matters

This week Dr Simon Harris reflects on his recent narrow escape.

As a doctor I am often asked, ‘Do transplants really work?’ The answer is they certainly worked for me last week. The problem was a huge blockage had developed in my career prospects after I’d ignored the warning signs for too long. My heart was cold, my nerves were jangling and I feared for my backside as the entire system began to buckle under the stress. Everyone said I was a goner, especially Matron McDonald of the Adam’s Academy for the Administration of Good Health (AAAGH).

Fortunately my colleague, Dr Donohoe, recognised the solution and managed to transplant the guts of €45m on to my lap from other bodies. Of course, I had to swallow a bitter pill to make sure it wasn’t rejected. It was a close call, but happily the nurses say my prospects are very good until next week at least. Phew!