July 27, 2023 Craic & Codology

There was widespread shock throughout the country as several newspapers were accidentally published which failed to contain a single fearful op-ed calling for the recruitment of hundreds of thousands more gardaí. One irate columnist, clutching some pearls, explained: “It’s imperative that we dedicate every single inch in our national press to articles demanding that gardaí… Read more »

July 27, 2023 Craic & Codology

A prominent senior politician has apologised to the public for “erroneously submitting” a driving expenses claim for the last year which contained “barely any” gratuitous claims. Speaking of the grievous error, they said: “Last year, I fell far short of what is expected of me by both the public and my constituents. In failing to… Read more »

July 27, 2023 Craic & Codology

Climatologists are warning of the long-term impacts of a ruinous dry spell which has reached near record proportions. The area affected by the drought, Rory McIlroy’s major trophy cabinet, suffered its latest setback last week after his slim hopes in The Open turned to dust. Hopes are fading among the scientific community that this tragic… Read more »

July 27, 2023 Craic & Codology

By Warren Peace Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has had a surprise meeting with Irish Taoiseach Leo Varadkar, during which he sympathised with the Irish people’s “unconscionable suffering”. Zelenskyy stated that the country’s seemingly endless housing and health crises had “struck a chord around Europe and the world”. “Rest assured we stand beside you, and Fine… Read more »

July 27, 2023 Craic & Codology

Ryan Tubridy I’ve definitely noticed the heat being turned up over the last few weeks and ironically this has resulted in yours truly getting frozen out of RTÉ. Hopefully people will have chilled out by early September and I can come back.   Stephen Donnelly We’re all paying a terrible price as a result of… Read more »

July 27, 2023 Craic & Codology

IN AN unprecedented piece of journalism yesterday, a national newspaper ran a story that had nothing at all to do with the new Barbie film. Said the editor: “I accept it is highly unusual and apologise unreservedly, but a real event happened in the real world and a rash decision was made to report on… Read more »

July 27, 2023 Craic & Codology

Concert fans’ hopes of gaining entry to Taylor Swift’s Dublin gigs next year have been boosted after promoters confirmed that RTÉ won’t be providing complimentary tickets for guests. The move, in the wake of recent revelations at the beleaguered broadcaster, “will probably free up a few thousand prime seat tickets, including backstage access and of… Read more »

July 27, 2023 Craic & Codology

Helen McEntee Ireland is descending into a state of lawlessness, and there’s only so much one young, inspirational mother in politics can do to fight against it. I can’t wait to take my family away from Dublin’s anarchic streets to the safety of our hotel in downtown Kabul. Stephen Donnelly Various unforeseen costs have led… Read more »

July 27, 2023 Craic & Codology

In common with all other newspapers, we may in recent times have given the impression that the Irish women’s team were set to make a major impact at this year’s World Cup. In particular, this perception might have been enforced by headlines such as “WIZARDS OF OZ: GIRLS IN GREEN SET TO TRIUMPH”, “PAUW’S PERFECT… Read more »

July 26, 2023 Craic & Codology

Noel Kelly All licence fees, consultancy fees, etc. are entirely a matter for RTÉ – and nothing to do with my very well-paid clients or myself and my teeny-weeny company. So, I think that clarifies our position and explains why I’m outsourcing any blame on this issue. Catherine Martin As this is such a sensitive… Read more »

July 26, 2023 Craic & Codology

Pay increase so lawyers can afford second and third homes On-site Ralph Lauren store for Four Goldmines Free Leinster rugger tickets with each successful case Addition of extra fees to help with kids’ private educations Complimentary meal vouchers for Michelin-starred restaurants Guaranteed Irish Times column upon retirement

July 13, 2023 Craic & Codology

RTÉ has promised to conduct a robust review into its practices after discovering that one of its star presenters only received their publicly stated salary without any rewards from barter accounts or ancillary perks. Responding to the news that rocked the organisation, a press release stated: “We would like to apologise to the presenter in… Read more »

July 13, 2023 Craic & Codology

Justice minister Helen McEntee has sought to ward off criticism of her controversial hate-speech bill, saying it still leaves plenty of scope for people to voice offensive opinions. “We don’t want to police what people can or can’t say – we’ll leave that to the gardaí to figure out. But the public must realise the… Read more »

July 13, 2023 Craic & Codology

Boardroom to Improve After discovering the old board to be rotten, wooden under pressure and derelict in its duties, can Dermot Bannon help new owner Kevin Bakhurst salvage this widely condemned property? Dancing with the Stars: PAC Edition Watch as top celebs Ryan Tubridy and Noel Kelly twist and shout under the intense spotlight. Though… Read more »

July 13, 2023 Craic & Codology

Marty Morrissey I think I speak for the nation when I say that we couldn’t be more inspired by the achievements of these girls. I’d even offered to head down under to personally drive them to games but I’ve suddenly found myself without a car. Stephen Kenny What Vera Pauw has achieved with these girls… Read more »

July 13, 2023 Craic & Codology

Salary cap Will be seen hanging over the heads of many of the station’s top brass for the foreseeable future but details are a bit woolly. Guaranteed to make recipients sweat but they will be hoping it goes out of fashion very quickly. Tubridy pants Contains very deep pockets that are terrific for anyone who… Read more »

July 13, 2023 Craic & Codology

As the eyes of the world focus on the sporting calendar’s greatest spectacle, we showcase the stars making tennis the talk of the planet, no, really. Rishi Sunak Despite his skill in unleashing volley after volley (usually against cross-Channel migrants), superb self-serving and spin, Sunak’s chances are in some doubt. So, will Britain’s current number… Read more »

July 13, 2023 Craic & Codology

Health minister Stephen Donnelly has outlined details of radical plans to roll out free GP healthcare to an additional 500,000 people. Speaking to reporters last night, Mr Donnelly said: “My new policy is to go wherever there are TV cameras and tell everyone about the huge benefits of adding half a million more patients to… Read more »