July 24, 2025 Craic & Codology

The government has moved to reassure people that a potential economic downturn will not have any meaningful consequences on the upcoming autumn budget. Fears are growing about the negative impact tariffs and the increasingly volatile global security situation could have on the state’s future financial plans. However, the administration has confirmed they will seek to… Read more »

July 24, 2025 Craic & Codology

IT HARDLY seems possible that today marks the 10th anniversary of the Social Democrats!! Commenting on the milestone, acting leader Cian O’Callaghan said, “Who would ever have believed that we would become such a major force in Irish politics? “We would therefore like to congratulate ourselves on our unmitigated achievements to date. There are far… Read more »

July 24, 2025 Craic & Codology

Finance minister Paschal Donohoe has emphasised the Irish economy is entering an unprecedented period of uncertainty, with the coalition completely clueless about what will unfold. However, the minister has emphasised the country is uniquely prepared. “We’ve been making a disaster for the economy for the last decade, so in a lot of ways, it’s business… Read more »

July 24, 2025 Craic & Codology

Donald Trump My life has become a living hell because of numerous disgusting lies about my alleged links to this creep and his unspeakable activities. With that in mind I have instructed my administration to kill all these Epstein rumours or at least make it look like a suicide. Conor McGregor I think we can… Read more »

July 24, 2025 Craic & Codology

The never busy Dáil Reform Committee is to consider calls from Labour and Sinn Féin to end both the customary practice of TDs observing daily prayer and the requirement to grovel on their knees to the Ceann Comhairle when leaving the Dáil chamber. However, Micheál Martin backed the practices, saying: “Unfortunately, a tiny minority clearly… Read more »

July 24, 2025 Craic & Codology

Independent TD Catherine Connolly’s bid for the Áras has suddenly set the presidential race alight. The soft-spoken trailblazer is expected to make her mark by continuing to speak out on controversial political issues exactly like the current incumbent, Michael Twee – apart from the dodgy poetry. Said all Irish Times columnists, “It’s such a breath… Read more »

July 24, 2025 Craic & Codology

When you vote in a government that promises to deliver the sun, moon and stars, you end up with empty space! We have to fill in that space with flying machines and the stargazers need to just suck it up! – Michael O’Leary Fianna Fáil has been using drones to deliver messages for years and… Read more »

July 24, 2025 Craic & Codology

In an unexpected development senior management at Lidl Ireland say the stores will open the third checkout to mark the company’s 25th anniversary in the country. Eye witness accounts report delighted shoppers, many of whom had been queuing at checkouts 1 & 2 for days. One woman wept as she rang her husband and children… Read more »

July 24, 2025 Craic & Codology

Best Melodrama: David McRedmond and The Leak Best Stunts: Simon Harris and Budget 2026 Speculation Best Scripted Lines: Mairead McGuinness and Fine Gael Best Choreography: Michael Lowry and The Government Best Bit Part: Darragh O’Brien in Forgotten Minister Best Musical Adaptation: Michael D and Áras Poems CD Best Comedic Performance: Alan Shatter and Oireachtas Committee

July 24, 2025 Craic & Codology

Exclusive by all business hacks The EU is ratcheting up its response to President Trump’s pledged 30 percent trade tariff, with officials preparing a record number of press releases and social media posts. Commission President Ursula von der Leyen said the counter-measures will have a dramatic immediate effect, with Eurocrats securing themselves more column inches… Read more »

July 24, 2025 Craic & Codology

♦ Jim O’Callaghan being pig-headed about GAA Palestine ♦ Government milking tariff scares for all it’s worth ♦ Patrick O’Donovan getting on everyone’s goat ♦ Coalition independents giving sheep a bad name ♦ Micheál Martin refusing to field questions about Áras run ♦ Blueshirts not exactly flocking to Mairead McGuinness ♦ Mary Lou getting acres… Read more »

July 10, 2025 Craic & Codology

Hurling legend DJ Carey has slammed the ongoing Oasis reunion tour and condemned the Gallagher brothers for what he believes is their deeply cynical behaviour. The former Kilkenny star also accused Liam and Noel of trying to take advantage of people by attempting to enrich themselves through the worst possible means imaginable. Speaking to reporters… Read more »

July 10, 2025 Craic & Codology

MORE THAN 400 Irish Water employees earned over €100,000 last year, while well-deserved bonuses soared to €13m. CEO Niall Gleeman said: “We’re certainly not overpaying. For instance, as a result of the Government ban, I myself receive no performance payment whatsoever. So I’ve been scraping by on a basic €275,000 per year.” Mr Gleeman defended… Read more »

July 10, 2025 Craic & Codology

A FURIOUS Micheál Martin has insisted that the Government parties are “not in any way” divided on the issue of college fees. The Taoiseach told reporters: “We are fully united on this issue and it is outrageous that Fine Gael should spread hysterical lies about higher education minister Lawless just because he indicated that student… Read more »

July 10, 2025 Craic & Codology

Weird character in derby hat admiring pics of himself with old rock stars Voiceover: In a world of shameless name droppers and hangers on, BP was always the guy backstage living the rock ’n’ roll fairytale. Beep: I dig the roll call of contributors to this doc – Adam Clayton, Robert Plant, Debbie Harry, even… Read more »

July 10, 2025 Craic & Codology

James Browne “I guess as the Minister for Housing I should suggest something like converting the place into liveable units to reduce housing pressure. There must be a better answer but I need a focus group to guide me. I will get back to you.” Charlie Flanagan “There are a lot of new uses that… Read more »

July 10, 2025 Craic & Codology

The recently released 19th-century census records have attracted huge international interest, with the documents revealing that many citizens were on the government’s housing and health waiting lists. “It’s incredible to think waiting times stretch back that far,” said one archivist. “The records also reveal some other remarkable statistics, including that plans for the national children’s… Read more »

July 10, 2025 Craic & Codology

Having quit managing the Dublin footballers after two dismal years in charge, Dessie Farrell may now receive a Cabinet appointment, with ministers feeling his recent results are in keeping with the coalition’s record on housing and health. “Dublin’s abysmal performances against Meath and Tyrone suggest he’d be right at home,” said a Government insider. “The… Read more »

July 10, 2025 Craic & Codology

Chinese authorities have warned that any attempt to install former Liveline host Joe Duffy as a replacement for Tibet’s spiritual leader, the Dalai Lama, will be met with an “unrestrained response”. Suspicion that the revered presenter was being lined up to succeed the Buddhist leader accelerated when the Tibetan figurehead announced his position’s future reincarnation… Read more »

July 10, 2025 Craic & Codology

The Graduate An obscure professorial type (James Lawless) finds himself getting the third degree when he admits college fees may be increased in September. Insult to injury soon follows when poor James starts getting schooled by smart-alec Simon Harris. Straffan is Full An unapologetic Irish patriot finds himself the innocent victim of Kildare’s Byzantine planning… Read more »

July 10, 2025 Craic & Codology

Bertie Ahern True blue Dub whose career was tragically cut short after a very underwhelming performance in Dublin Castle during the Mahon Tribunal. Was considered the hot favourite to take over the role but is believed to have lost all interest upon learning the job is unpaid. Damien Duff Looking for a brand new gig… Read more »