May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

There has been widespread outrage after the Irish Times admitted that a recently published opinion piece wasn’t authored by an artificial intelligence (AI) programme. “It has come to our attention that an article featured in our op-ed section last week was in fact reasonably researched, broadly well-informed and actually went through a rudimentary editorial check… Read more »

May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

The Irish Times Has spent decades churning out gigawatts of hot air and will never hesitate to frantically spin on behalf of the European Union. Claims its environmental record is exemplary, despite an embarrassing mess caused by fake tan. Fine Gael A surprise choice given that the party is expected to be completely powerless after… Read more »

May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

Greenpeace has placed Ireland at the top of the European charts for public transport excuses, with ministers using a variety of means to get as far away from the issue as possible. Back-pedalling, driving on with the head down and taking off as soon as questions are asked are among the Government’s favoured means of… Read more »

May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

Audience figures for RTÉ’s Late Late Show “would not reflect a decline in numbers” if the show was to continue without a presenter, shock findings in a new survey have revealed. The news has sent RTÉ’s search for a new host into disarray, with the broadcaster conceding it may have overestimated Ryan ‘Tubs’ Tubridy’s relevance… Read more »

May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

Sinn Féin: We can be kingmakers DUP: As sour as a Sammy Wilson sausage Alliance: Proudly sitting on the fence Ulster Unionist: Yes, we still exist SDLP: Let’s go backwards together TUV: No checks or asylum seekers Aontú: We’re in the embryonic stage

May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

By A Fray and Mel Lee Angry fight fans have condemned the GAA’s recent pay-per-view scheme, claiming the association has shown scant regard for some of its most ardent followers and their children. “It’s a quiet time of the year for cage fighting, and pub brawls are rare enough nowadays,” fumed a disappointed Offaly man… Read more »

May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

Niall Collins Recent history would suggest the junior minister would be far more comfortable asking questions than actually answering them. Believed to be interested in the role but has told RTÉ he has no intention of becoming a field reporter. Ammi Burke The Mayo native knows what it takes to get into the news and… Read more »

May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

The organisers of the Bray Air Display have confirmed they have reached out to Green TD Brian Leddin with an invitation to participate in the event after it emerged that the environmentalist had obtained a private pilot’s licence in his youth. “Brian is a qualified pilot and this might explain why the Greens continue to… Read more »

May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

The Government has found itself at the centre of a major new storm, as ministers battle each other to get greater exposure on the airwaves ahead of the next election. It is also believed that certain ministers are concerned about the amount of airspace they’re receiving at Cabinet, with several expressing alarm that they’re political… Read more »

May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

How long has this ‘set-up’ been in place, Mr Martin? As you will understand, state security forbids me to speculate as to any time frames but what I can say is that nothing is happening whatsoever. Does the RAF have to be invited before entering our air space? Obviously, due to concerns regarding our national… Read more »

May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

1 bib (considerably dirty)  Towel ready to be thrown in Cribbing backbenchers Failed housing formula Pacifier (Heather Humphreys) Comfort blanket (European Commission gig) Wornout dummies (Coveney, Paschal etc)

May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

Following Simon Coveney’s support for fast-fashion retailer Shein, several fashion commentators have slammed the Government for its increasing tendency towards ‘fast politics’. The controversial approach sees the coalition taking a once-off look at important issues, before implementing flimsy policies that quickly fall apart. “The Government is hopelessly cheap and sewn together very awkwardly,” said one… Read more »

May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

Concern is growing over the amount of Russian warship fillers in the Irish media, with more activity spotted in a variety of outlets, including The Moscow Times, Russkietalk and RTÉ/Lenin TV. In a chilling statement, the Defence Forces warned that the hysterical pieces were taking up territory previously belonging to actual news stories. “We are… Read more »

May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

RTÉ insiders say the search for a new Late Late host has been exhaustive, with the national broadcaster so far unable to identify anyone other than Patrick Kielty remotely interested in doing the job. It was thought a transition year student on a work placement might have expressed interest in taking the gig, but sources… Read more »

May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

I don’t think this qualifying malarkey is very important. It was all about the lads expressing themselves and playing without inhibition, which they did brilliantly, except for a sticky three-minute patch when they were singing. I feel very proud. – Stephen Kenny I had absolutely nothing to do with it, I can assure you! In… Read more »

May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

Neale Richmond will continue to milk publicity Supermarkets won’t stop creaming profits Government is trying to butter up voters Plenty of breadcrumbs for small farmers Consumers need to find more dough Public are increasingly cheesed off with coalition Action plan needed for surplus cabbages (Greens)

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

Wild Youth have cut ties with themselves after listening to their Eurovision entry, ‘We Are Wan’. The quartet said they do not want to be “anywhere near such an appallingly saccharine effort”. In a social media post, the band said: “First off, we want to apologise to anyone who’s heard this pile of crap. It… Read more »

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

Ryan Tubridy AS SOMEONE who loves all things American – especially New York or ‘the big bagel’ to use its local moniker – I’m in favour of extending the hand of friendship. Imagine he came on The Late Late Show for a cosy chat! That would be one in the eye for my would-be successors…. Read more »

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

PRESIDENT MICHAEL D Higgins has again responded to suggestions that he should offer accommodation to refugees at Áras an Uachtaráin. “It is actually the OPW that would make any such decision; I have absolutely no say whatsoever,” Michael Twee told reporters. “But if suggestions are being sought, a more imaginative solution would allow immigrants to… Read more »

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

Joe running for office again is certain proof that, when wise council prevails, nothing matches having many years of astute political experience when it comes to electing a president anywhere. Bertie Ahern, former Mahon Tribunal witness I’ve been closely watching trends in American politics for, like, years and stuff and unlike Trumpy, who knows how… Read more »

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

1st Solid Gold Coach HRH King Chazza III and Queen Camilla Parker Knoll 2nd Gold Coach HRH Prince Wills of Wales accompanied by Mr Murdoch’s lawyers, Shyster & Sleaze, phone-hacking settlement specialists 1st Open-Top Bus HRH Kate, the new People’s Princess of Hearts and members of the paparazzi 1st Stretch Campervan Andrew, Duke of York,… Read more »

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

United Kingdom – Sunak and the Sour Notes Got the gig after his two immediate predecessors self-destructed on the main stage, but doubts remain whether he can stay in tune with the public. Will be performing a self-penned tune called ‘Whistling Past the Graveyard’. Ireland – Wild Youth Had a big falling out with their… Read more »

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

Ian Banham Centre Niall Collins Library GSOC Hutch Debacle Room Yuri Filatov Centre Holohan Trinity Fiasco HQ Cancelled Ryanair Flights Library

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

There once was a man named Hutch, Who the cops found they JUST could not touch, One went to his bash, Causing his career to crash, Now GSOC’s reputation is f*cked!

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has said that the expected €50 trillion budget surplus will have a tremendous impact on the coalition’s welfare as it attempts to cling to power by any means possible at the next election. In addition, the Government is also planning a record number of press releases to further hype its budget bonanza…. Read more »

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

Understanding myself and others – It’s perfectly normal to want to experiment and try different things – especially if you’re a member of the clergy who’s fancied the housekeeper for a few years. Making healthy choices – If you’re a county councillor with ministerial ambitions, it’s probably best not to attend that local area committee meeting… Read more »

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

Both sides engaged in Sudan’s bitter confrontation say they can “neither prevent nor be held responsible for” any misfortune that befalls Irish residents desperately trying to flee the war-stricken country. “We can try to stop them leaving but, if they manage to escape and end up on a street in Dublin after dark or on… Read more »

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

A full-scale search-and-rescue mission has located the remaining viewer of Angela Scanlon’s Ask Me Anything, after the RTÉ chat show lost a mortifying 60,000 viewers in one week. However, while RTÉ execs were initially delighted to discover the audience member, the upbeat mood didn’t last, with the viewer explaining they accidentally caught Scanlon’s show while… Read more »

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

GARDA COMMISSIONER Phew Harris has hit out at criticism of Garda tactics following the acquittal of Gerry ‘The Monk’ Hutch. Speaking to the media, he said: “I think we should be applauded for our vigour in failing to bring yet another gangland boss to justice, given the current overcrowding situation in Irish prisons. “Incidentally, you… Read more »

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

With Michelle O’Neill set to attend King Charles’s coronation this weekend, it has also been confirmed that she has controversially accepted an invite to the Sinn Féin ard fheis later this year. The move is seen as marking another step away from O’Neill’s place at the heart of the British monarchy. “I recognise there are… Read more »