June 27, 2024 Craic & Codology

Michael McGrath You can’t help but admire this shameless diva who’s hoping to make a fortune in Europe before the public mood sours on them. But that’s enough about yours truly. While I’m not as musically gifted as Miss Swift, I do have an incredible talent for blowing my own trumpet. Simon Harris Taylor Swift… Read more »

June 27, 2024 Craic & Codology

Exclusive extracts from egomaniac PEOPLE DON’T understand the sheer weight of artistic trauma I experience – which means I’m forced to constantly empathise with myself. I remember Spielberg begging me for advice with Jaws. “I desperately need help, Neil,” he pleaded. “You’re the greatest director of all time – a Bergman of the human psyche.”… Read more »

June 27, 2024 Craic & Codology

“The media need to give him a break. Anyone can fall at the final hurdle!” Mary Lou McDonald “When people write you off, it makes the comeback all the sweeter. Cheers, Big Ears!” Nigel Farage “He is just following a trend of epic losing that Mayo GAA first made sexy. A choker and a copycat!”… Read more »

June 27, 2024 Craic & Codology

In his latest headline-grabbing broadside, Ryanair chief Michael O’Leary has called for mouthy business CEOs to put a sock in it. In his 25th consecutive interview yesterday, O’Leary suggested that certain business figures were too in love with the sound of their own voices. “I myself am quite reclusive,” said O’Leary. “It’s appalling the way… Read more »

June 27, 2024 Craic & Codology

ACTOR AND icon Paul Mescal turned stomachs (‘Heads’, surely – Ed) at Milan Fashion Week yesterday wearing skimpy boxers and Gucci loafers, in that order. The Normal People star told reporters: “This is not a publicity stunt. I just want my picture in the papers.” Mescal has frequently set pulses racing when seen out and… Read more »

June 27, 2024 Craic & Codology

♦ The Art of Maintaining Composure by Rory McIlroy ♦ My Media Blackout by Michael O’Leary ♦ My Disinterest in the EU Commission by Michael McGrath ♦ The Decisiveness of the FAI by John O’Shea ♦ Standing up for Palestine by Ursula von der Leyen

June 13, 2024 Craic & Codology

Taoiseach Simon Harris has dismissed rumours of an early general election, saying that his party is in no rush to stop gloating over Sinn Féin’s “disastrous performance” in the local and European elections. Speaking to reporters recently regarding Sinn Féin’s struggles, Mr Harris stated: “Hahahahahahaha”, before adding: “Hehehehehe.” Meanwhile a Fine Gael spokesperson said: “We… Read more »

June 13, 2024 Craic & Codology

Ryanair boss Michael O’Leary has criticised the Government’s proposal to fine airlines that carry undocumented passengers. The outspoken CEO believes that the coalition’s proposal could have a very negative impact on the aviation industry and set a dangerous precedent. “I’m deeply uncomfortable with people having to pay fines and fees that I didn’t dream up…. Read more »

June 13, 2024 Craic & Codology

Geography Q) Suggest 10 secluded locations, well away from Government Buildings, where large numbers of asylum seekers could be safely hidden from view for long periods of time. Home Economics Q) Using these basic ingredients, create a recipe for disaster: simmering hot water, the DUP, disillusioned voters, any unsavoury leftovers. Economics Q) If the costs… Read more »

June 13, 2024 Craic & Codology

Mary Lou McDonald Has come in for heavy criticism over her inability to score in front of an open goal and debate has intensified over whether she should be substituted. Hesitancy over whether to lead with her left or right on immigration has meant penalties at the ballot box. Enoch Bourke Currently paying the penalty… Read more »

June 13, 2024 Craic & Codology

Simon Harris has hit out at the absence of protestors at a public speech, describing the peaceful and undramatic event as “a new low in Irish politics”. With members of the Burke family and sundry other protestors not in attendance, Harris was left to complete his speech in “a bruising atmosphere of total silence”. “That… Read more »

June 13, 2024 Craic & Codology

9am: The Golden Hour – classic hits from the period when presenters weren’t fleeing the station Midday: Call-In Special – station owners from the commercial sector ring in and make bids for 2FM 2pm: 2FM Isn’t For Sale – spokesman explains why we’re still a vital youth station for the vibrant 60-85-year-old demographic 5pm: Do… Read more »

June 13, 2024 Craic & Codology

To establish the facts and learn lessons from the Irish Government’s excellent response to the pandemic. Health ministers to be fully exonerated – at least until Stephen Donnelly took over. Harris and Vlad in no way accountable for their assured handling of the crisis. Note that they both followed the science (of polling). Scrutiny of… Read more »

June 13, 2024 Craic & Codology

Open-Top Rainbow Bus Former senator David Norris, Bambi Thug, Panti Bliss and TV’s Sammy Sausages Inflatable ‘Irish Times’ Bandwagon Countless hacks fighting to be seen flying the flag Alternative Straight Pride Minibus Enoch Burke supporters, protesting rural councillors etc. Eco-warrior Bicycle Mr Eamon Ryan Mobile Marquee Undisclosed number of asylum seekers Turbo-charged Garda Van Commissioner… Read more »

June 13, 2024 Craic & Codology

♦ Israel needs to stop bombing immediately ♦ We really bloody mean it this time ♦ There’s too much at stake (ie voters in key battleground stakes turning against me) ♦ I’m going to get angry with Netanyahu if this continues…although he’s not answerable to me Er, that’s it. (That’s enough Biden – Ed.)

June 13, 2024 Craic & Codology

We have listened closely to the message the Irish people have sent with these election results. Now is not the time for knee-jerk reactions, although any disappointing campaigns were clearly down to party HQ and nothing to do with me personally. The task now is to get on with the vital work of Government, such… Read more »

May 30, 2024 Craic & Codology

100% of poll respondents sick to the back teeth of polls.

May 30, 2024 Craic & Codology

I firmly believe I give voice to an under-represented demographic in Brussels – lads who like skinning up a spliff and listening to some trip-hop. In my experience, getting stoned has many parallels with European politics, including rambling speeches, memory loss (many MEPs forget their election pledges), sleepiness and food cravings, which many MEPs satisfy… Read more »

May 30, 2024 Craic & Codology

Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin has denied claims from some disgruntled MEP candidates that he has clear favourites among those seeking election. “It’s not true at all,” said Micheál. “I wish Barry, Lisa and the other one nothing but the best on polling day.”

May 30, 2024 Craic & Codology

Have decided to venture into the realm of social media, despite it being a cesspit of liberal decadence. Undoubtedly, immigration is a key issue facing Europe, with many windbag politicians somehow escaping detection before they end up on the national airwaves. It’s time for a mature discussion of how we rid the media of tiresome… Read more »

May 30, 2024 Craic & Codology

Tackling Government Waste Replace massive government overspend and waste in the Dublin area with massive government overspend and waste throughout rural Ireland. Climate Matters Ireland’s farmers allowed to do whatever they like without any interference whatsoever from those Green Party weirdos. The Curse of Immigration Confront left-wing snowflake liberals denying decent Irish citizens their basic… Read more »