October 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

No one alive today is old enough to have witnessed Abraham Lincoln send his army to their destiny during those fateful days at Gettysburg but, make no mistake, this Irish team truly belongs in the same pantheon as those who sacrificed everything to try to prevent the assembled forces of darkness from triumphing. Their acts… Read more »

October 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

THERE WERE jubilant scenes of mass hysteria at Labour Party headquarters last night after current leader Ivana Bacik insisted that she fully intends to run (and, indeed, cycle) again in the next general election. The shock news came just weeks after sitting deputies Brendan Howlin and Seán Sherlock announced that they would not be seeking… Read more »

October 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

News Corp is seeking an editor to take over the Oirish edition of The Sunday Times. The successful candidate will have extensive experience of operating on a limited (ie non-existent) budget and in an environment where morale is on the floor. Candidates should be enthusiastic about platforming right-wing pundits and publishing anything they are told… Read more »

October 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

Montrose Studios Long regarded as the ‘home of the undead’, it has been claimed that the inhabitants have been trying to bleed the country dry for decades. “It’s a real house of horrors,” said a Mr Back-Cursed as he tried desperately to clean up the place. Oireachtas Mansion Loud noises and the rattling of skeletons… Read more »

October 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

by Our Entire Staff A SENSATIONAL new biography of John Hume has lifted the lid off one of Ireland’s most legendary political figures to reveal a hitherto unknown dark side. The book by Stephen Wallow, entitled John Hume: The Hagiography, challenges the popular image of Mr Hume as peacemaker, politician, Nobel laureate and the greatest… Read more »

October 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

With Ireland set to co-host Euro 2028, FAI chief Jonathan Hill is keen for the country to secure more major tournaments as it’s the only way the team are likely to qualify ever again. With Stephen Kenny overseeing yet another flop qualification campaign, hosting tournaments could be become a major part of the FAI’s strategy…. Read more »

October 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

Patrick Kielty Late Late Woe viewers are sure to break out in a cold sweat as you promise another country music special. They’ll also be fleeing in horror when you reveal this week’s special guests are the Fair City cast. Stephen Kenny Terrify Irish supporters with the prospect that you may land yet another qualification… Read more »

October 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

“Eat your heart out Shakespeare, the greatest writer in the English language has struck again. Surely no amount of column inches dedicated to this supreme wordsmith and communicator can adequately do her justice. Her latest work, perhaps her magnum opus, is… [That’s enough Anton Savage for now – Ed]

October 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

Senior politicians are thrilled with the general public’s response to Budget 2024, Government sources have reported. Some Cabinet insiders are even suggesting that it could stimulate a rise in the coalition parties’ dreadful poll numbers in recent times. “The fawning coverage in the Southside Times was everything we could’ve hoped for and more,” said one… Read more »

October 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

RTÉ’s latest gameshow, The Money Mist, has become the surprise sensation of the autumn schedule. In keeping with the national broadcaster’s previous formats, teams of complete chancers are challenged to fill in missing answers on a lengthy Public Accounts Committee list of queries. The more questions they dodge, the more money they win. Says presenter… Read more »

October 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

She was completely captivated by him the moment he entered the room. Her heart beat faster than someone who was approaching a Garda checkpoint. He was effortlessly arrogant but she knew she desired him and his mere presence stirred feelings in her that she had never felt before. She wanted him to ravage her the… Read more »

October 5, 2023 Craic & Codology

By Pat Squeaky There was good news for the Government parties in the latest Southside Times/Dispo poll, with 1% of voters saying they have not yet reached the point where they hate the Government. This is sure to give a major boost to the coalition and give those overhyped bastard Shinners pause for thought. Further… Read more »

October 5, 2023 Craic & Codology

Agriculture: Increased supports for farmers who have beef with Charlie McConalogue Policing: Funding to provide for additional new recruits, who will then immediately go on strike Health: €1bn to HSE to help keep Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael on life support RTÉ: €56m bailout to shore up finances and fund development of Toy Show The… Read more »

October 5, 2023 Craic & Codology

There was continuing outrage within Irish rugby circles yesterday over the controversial singing of ‘Zombie’ after it became Irish fans’ unofficial anthem at this year’s Rugby World Cup. However, the ongoing row – which has sparked a social media frenzy – is now threatening to be disrupted by the upcoming clash against Scotland at the… Read more »

October 5, 2023 Craic & Codology

There was widespread shock throughout RTÉ yesterday when the much-criticised, newly appointed celebrity booker for the Late Late Show accidentally secured an interview with a well-known public figure. Issuing a grovelling apology, they said: “Despite the new host and logo, the general public expect the same tired old roster of faces from the RTÉ canteen…. Read more »

October 5, 2023 Craic & Codology

Dear Dáithí, I’m a highly successful public figure and very important person. I’m also a pretty cool guy who really hates the Shinners. Of course, I’m the complete opposite of whatever Mary Lou says – unless, of course, the voters like something she says, in which case I’m that as well. So why do I… Read more »

October 5, 2023 Craic & Codology

As the public’s demand for recrimination grows, following large mobs gathering at Leinster House, commentators say any decision to have gardaí arrest those guilty of loutish behaviour would impinge on the country’s democratic process. “Nothing would please the public or give us more pleasure than throwing ill-mannered louts and deluded miscreants into the back of… Read more »