August 21, 2025 Craic & Codology

By all hacks A few short weeks ago, Gareth Sheridan was just another businessman desperately seeking publicity for his memoir. But in a short timeframe, the 35-year-old Dubliner has been rocketed into the media spotlight, as journalists report on his business ventures, Wall Street ambitions – and various other details I have painstakingly sourced from… Read more »

August 21, 2025 Craic & Codology

Ireland has the potential to become a world capital of AI, according to FF TD Malcolm Byrne, with many members of the Oireachtas already appearing completely robotic and devoid of personality. With many predicting AI will wipe out boring and repetitive tasks, it is also believed ministers’ Six One News appearances will soon come under… Read more »

August 21, 2025 Craic & Codology

Lessons: Trump impressed with Russia’s key takeaways – especially Crimea. Ceasefire: Putin concerned about President Trump’s incessant attacks on Zelenskyy. Peace talks: Little prospect of a breakthrough except for Russian offensive lines. Demilitarisation: Donald determined to keep gunning for Rosie O’Donnell. Sanctions: Trump has managed to avoid virtually everyone of them. Cultural Exchange: Europeans unimpressed… Read more »

August 21, 2025 Craic & Codology

IN A dramatic move welcomed widely by himself, Irish rock legend Bono has called for Israel to be freed from Benjamin Netanyahu while urging Hamas to release the hostages. Speaking at the Ivor No Shame Awards, U2’s frontman emphasised the dense complexity of the problem. “The whole genocide thing is so complex that it’s taken… Read more »

August 21, 2025 Craic & Codology

… As I was saying on pages 2, 5, 6 and 10, the pressure on me reached unbearable heights when I was told what weather patterns to report! I was actually given a chart based on information from satellites that I had never seen and instructed to repeat that information without question! This was despite… Read more »

August 21, 2025 Craic & Codology

Micheál Martin The Kneecap trial highlights the importance of being bold when setting out your radical vision of the future. And experienced politicians like myself understand that getting high on raucous rap and drugs is far from the shared-island solution required to be on the right side of history. Nigel Farage They swarm here in… Read more »

August 21, 2025 Craic & Codology

The time has come to shake up a presidential campaign dominated by dour figures in grey suits. Only I personally have the charisma to set the campaign trail alight as I prioritise vital issues such as traffic-light management, the country’s inadequate supply of paperclips and making motor tax more efficient. One thing is certain; the… Read more »

August 21, 2025 Craic & Codology

➜ Significant number of officers want to hit the road ➜ Levels of alleged laziness is breathtaking ➜ A lot hoping to speed up their retirements ➜ Commissioner definitely being taken for a ride ➜ Management denying they need to hit the brakes ➜ No signs of malaise slowing down ➜ Public witnessing a complete… Read more »

August 21, 2025 Craic & Codology

by Our Taylor Swift staff THE POP megastar is back and while details are scarce, that doesn’t mean a thing. There is certainly no shortage of gossip about superstar Taylor Swift and her loved-up NFL player boyfriend, Travis Beefy. Said one editor: “How could anyone have predicted that, after running out of Oasis front-page hype… Read more »

August 21, 2025 Craic & Codology

The proposed Dublin Metro has said that developments in AI will soon make Dermot Desmond unnecessary, as the rapidly evolving technology more perfectly mimics self-obsessed billionaires who love the sound of their own voices. “We’re working on an AI driven by rampant egotism,” said the Metro. “It’s completely shrill and insufferable, so it’s likely to… Read more »

August 7, 2025 Craic & Codology

Local authorities are supposed to zone more land for housing as part of an exciting (surely unrealistic? – Ed) Government plan to raise the national annual target to 83,000 units. The latest guidelines cover the period to 2099. Housing minister James Browne joyfully stated: “I can confidently describe this bold construction scheme as ambitious, visionary… Read more »

August 7, 2025 Craic & Codology

Drew Harris Finds himself a free agent following his high-profile transfer to Dublin a number of years ago but faced constant criticism that he wasn’t really a team player and built a reputation for scoring impressive own goals. Michael O’Leary Often known to go in two-footed on opponents, his erratic attacking style doesn’t always yield… Read more »

August 7, 2025 Craic & Codology

Pharmaceuticals: Plenty of bitter pills for Irish Government Automobiles: US negotiators definitely in the driving seat Chemicals: Trump’s behaviour to get more sulphurous Precious metals: Elements of deal look like fool’s gold Agriculture: Von der Leyen happy to buy some magic beans Booze: Whole thing generally considered to be hard to swallow Manufacturing: Europeans denying… Read more »

August 7, 2025 Craic & Codology

I’ve never seen any merit in staying in one place for very long, so I intend visiting the southern Sahara this month to study the nomadic Igot Nohouce people. They live solely in tents and enjoy very fulfilled lives, so I hope to learn more about what sounds like a truly wonderful lifestyle. – Housing… Read more »

August 7, 2025 Craic & Codology

Are Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson really madly in love? Amid rampant true romance rumours, the glamorous Hollywood stars were recently spotted cosying up together on the Naked Gush red carpet. Several of the couple’s closest friends (who cannot be named because they don’t actually exist) insisted: “Pamela and Liam are a hugely essential part… Read more »

August 7, 2025 Craic & Codology

On behalf of all media outlets, we would like to apologise profusely to our respective audiences for implying that the Donegal football team were invincible. Headlines such as “Jimmy is a genius”, “Crocked Kerry limp towards doom” and “Donegal to dominate for decades” may have given people a misleading impression about the Tyrconnell men’s footballing… Read more »

August 7, 2025 Craic & Codology

Due to an anticipated readjustment of our senior management framework, a vacancy will shortly, any year now, sooner or later, arise in our senior management infrastructure. Have a go if you think dealing with half-witted politicians or cry-baby punters is something you can tolerate. • The successful candidate will be expected to – are you… Read more »

August 7, 2025 Craic & Codology

By Con Sultant Consumers in Ireland remain on red alert today amidst warnings that the recent outbreak of listeria stories may be “only a taster of what’s to come”. “People are still digesting half-baked reports and regurgitating the information. I saw it happening all around town this morning,” said one worried GP in Tipperary. “A… Read more »

August 7, 2025 Craic & Codology

♦ Public to be led up the garden path on housing figures ♦ Roof will continue to fall in on James Browne ♦ Micheál Martin constantly dwelling on what’s next for his career ♦ More walls of silence about child homelessness ♦ Fine Gael denying they’re planning to oust Simon Harris ♦ Cabinet happy to… Read more »

August 7, 2025 Craic & Codology

by Phil More-Pages FANS OF unflinching dystopian literature have hailed the continuing dominance of home-grown novelists on the 2025 prestigious Booker Prize longlist. Although there are no Irish-born authors among this year’s nominees, Trinidadian-Irish writer Claire Anon, whose mother is from Cork, has allowed us to shamelessly plug her inspiring story, Love in the Title…. Read more »