Category: Craic & Codology

ONGOING REACTION TO IRELAND’S EUROVISION FLOP

May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

I don’t think this qualifying malarkey is very important. It was all about the lads expressing themselves and playing without inhibition, which they did brilliantly, except for a sticky three-minute patch when they were singing. I feel very proud. – Stephen Kenny I had absolutely nothing to do with it, I can assure you! In... Read more »

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KEY FINDINGS OF THE RETAIL FORUM MEETING

May 18, 2023 Craic & Codology

Neale Richmond will continue to milk publicity Supermarkets won’t stop creaming profits Government is trying to butter up voters Plenty of breadcrumbs for small farmers Consumers need to find more dough Public are increasingly cheesed off with coalition Action plan needed for surplus cabbages (Greens)

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WILD YOUTH ‘SICK’ OVER EUROVISION DIRGE

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

Wild Youth have cut ties with themselves after listening to their Eurovision entry, ‘We Are Wan’. The quartet said they do not want to be “anywhere near such an appallingly saccharine effort”. In a social media post, the band said: “First off, we want to apologise to anyone who’s heard this pile of crap. It... Read more »

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TRUMP VISIT WARMLY WELCOMED

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

Ryan Tubridy AS SOMEONE who loves all things American – especially New York or ‘the big bagel’ to use its local moniker – I’m in favour of extending the hand of friendship. Imagine he came on The Late Late Show for a cosy chat! That would be one in the eye for my would-be successors.... Read more »

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REFUGEES FOR THE ÁRAS?

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

PRESIDENT MICHAEL D Higgins has again responded to suggestions that he should offer accommodation to refugees at Áras an Uachtaráin. “It is actually the OPW that would make any such decision; I have absolutely no say whatsoever,” Michael Twee told reporters. “But if suggestions are being sought, a more imaginative solution would allow immigrants to... Read more »

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MIXED REACTION TO BIDEN RE-ELECTION BID

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

Joe running for office again is certain proof that, when wise council prevails, nothing matches having many years of astute political experience when it comes to electing a president anywhere. Bertie Ahern, former Mahon Tribunal witness I’ve been closely watching trends in American politics for, like, years and stuff and unlike Trumpy, who knows how... Read more »

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THAT CORONATION PROCESSION PLAN

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

1st Solid Gold Coach HRH King Chazza III and Queen Camilla Parker Knoll 2nd Gold Coach HRH Prince Wills of Wales accompanied by Mr Murdoch’s lawyers, Shyster & Sleaze, phone-hacking settlement specialists 1st Open-Top Bus HRH Kate, the new People’s Princess of Hearts and members of the paparazzi 1st Stretch Campervan Andrew, Duke of York,... Read more »

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GOLDHAWK – SOME OF THIS YEAR’S EUROVISION ENTRIES

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

United Kingdom – Sunak and the Sour Notes Got the gig after his two immediate predecessors self-destructed on the main stage, but doubts remain whether he can stay in tune with the public. Will be performing a self-penned tune called ‘Whistling Past the Graveyard’. Ireland – Wild Youth Had a big falling out with their... Read more »

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POSSIBLE ALTERNATIVE NAMES FOR BERKELEY LIBRARY

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

Ian Banham Centre Niall Collins Library GSOC Hutch Debacle Room Yuri Filatov Centre Holohan Trinity Fiasco HQ Cancelled Ryanair Flights Library

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LIMERICK FOR OUR TIMES

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

There once was a man named Hutch, Who the cops found they JUST could not touch, One went to his bash, Causing his career to crash, Now GSOC’s reputation is f*cked!

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VARADKAR PLANS WELFARE PACKAGE

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has said that the expected €50 trillion budget surplus will have a tremendous impact on the coalition’s welfare as it attempts to cling to power by any means possible at the next election. In addition, the Government is also planning a record number of press releases to further hype its budget bonanza.... Read more »

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THAT NEW JUNIOR CYCLE SEX ED CURRICULUM

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

Understanding myself and others – It’s perfectly normal to want to experiment and try different things – especially if you’re a member of the clergy who’s fancied the housekeeper for a few years. Making healthy choices – If you’re a county councillor with ministerial ambitions, it’s probably best not to attend that local area committee meeting... Read more »

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FEARS FOR IRISH TRYING TO FLEE SUDAN

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

Both sides engaged in Sudan’s bitter confrontation say they can “neither prevent nor be held responsible for” any misfortune that befalls Irish residents desperately trying to flee the war-stricken country. “We can try to stop them leaving but, if they manage to escape and end up on a street in Dublin after dark or on... Read more »

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HARVEY NÓIRÍN’S ‘SUNDAY TIMES’ SALE!

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

STOCK SALE NOW! Printer – Perfect for journalists to print out their CVs Desk – Buy our now vacant political desk (would make great firewood!) Telephone – Perfect sound quality to receive a clear bollocking from your bosses in London. Blank paper – Get it before it’s devalued by having the latest Sunday Times printed... Read more »

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SCANLON VIEWER LOCATED

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

A full-scale search-and-rescue mission has located the remaining viewer of Angela Scanlon’s Ask Me Anything, after the RTÉ chat show lost a mortifying 60,000 viewers in one week. However, while RTÉ execs were initially delighted to discover the audience member, the upbeat mood didn’t last, with the viewer explaining they accidentally caught Scanlon’s show while... Read more »

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DREW HARRIS: “MY GANG BIGGER THAN HUTCH GANG”

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

GARDA COMMISSIONER Phew Harris has hit out at criticism of Garda tactics following the acquittal of Gerry ‘The Monk’ Hutch. Speaking to the media, he said: “I think we should be applauded for our vigour in failing to bring yet another gangland boss to justice, given the current overcrowding situation in Irish prisons. “Incidentally, you... Read more »

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O’NEILL ACCEPTS INVITE TO SINN FÉIN ARD FHEIS

May 3, 2023 Craic & Codology

With Michelle O’Neill set to attend King Charles’s coronation this weekend, it has also been confirmed that she has controversially accepted an invite to the Sinn Féin ard fheis later this year. The move is seen as marking another step away from O’Neill’s place at the heart of the British monarchy. “I recognise there are... Read more »

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CARTOONS 4109-19

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology

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FESTY O’SEMTEX

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Festy O'Semtex

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OZONE

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology, Ozone

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CARTOONS 4109-18

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology

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CARTOONS 4109-17

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology

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CARTOONS 4109-16

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology

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CARTOONS 4109-15

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology

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CARTOONS 4109-14

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology

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CARTOONS 4109-13

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology

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CARTOONS 4109-12

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology

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CARTOONS 4109-11

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology

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CARTOONS 4109-10

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology

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CARTOONS 4109-09

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology

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CARTOONS 4109-08

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology

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CARTOONS 4109-07

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology

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CARTOONS 4109-06

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology

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CARTOONS 4109-05

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology

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CARTOONS 4109-04

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology

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CARTOONS 4109-02

May 3, 2023 Cartoons, Craic & Codology

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