The Wesht Wing, 5 May 2016

Scene 1: The political correspondents room, Leinster House. A lone hack lingers on the telephone, as a shadowy Government spin doctor enters. Spin doctor: Special delivery! Hack (putting down phone): What? Nobody ordered pizza. Spin doctor: It’s even better than pizza. (He takes something from a box) Here’s your copy. Hack (reading): The interim report of the… Read more »

The Wesht Wing, 21 April 2016

Scene 1: A room in Leinster House. Talks between Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil resume. Enda Kenny (entering, out of breath): Sorry I’m late, gentlemen. An acting Taoiseach’s work is never done. Micheál Martin: Where was it you were, again? Kenny: National Concert Hall. Official reopening of the Kevin Barry Rooms. Very historic venue –… Read more »

The Wesht Wing, 7 April 2016

Scene 1: The Easter Rising commemorations, Dublin. Heavily disguised, and using “back channels”, negotiators from Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael open talks about talks. Man dressed as Countess Markievicz (actually Simon Harris): Psst! You there! Flag bearer in 1916 uniform. Flag Bearer (actually Barry Cowen): Is that you Simon? Wow. You make a very convincing… Read more »

The Wesht Wing, 24 March 2016

Scene 1: The West Wing of the White House. After the St Patrick’s Day speeches, Barack Obama chats with Enda Kenny. Obama: So – last time we do this together, eh buddy? Although I guess you might still be back next year? Kenny: Visiting President Trump? Obama: Jeez, what a thought! But between ourselves. America’s… Read more »

The Wesht Wing, 9 March 2016

Scene 1: The Taoiseach’s Office. Enda Kenny reads the newspapers while the portrait of Michael Collins looks on. Collins: Well, have you had your picture painted yet? Kenny: What picture? Collins: The one for the gallery of ex-Taoisigh. Kenny (hufflly): I’m not gone yet. Even if I don’t win the vote on Thursday, I’ll still… Read more »

The Wesht Wing, 25 February 2016

Scene 1: The lobby of a Dublin hotel. Fine Gael’s Director of Elections holds emergency talks with an old friend of the party. Brian Hayes: Thanks for meeting me at short notice, Frank. As you’ve probably seen, we’re in a bit of trouble, poll-wise. Frank Flannery: Yeah well, I can’t say I told you so…. Read more »

The Wesht Wing, 11 February 2016

Scene 1: The Alexandra Hotel, Dublin. After a faltering first press conference of the election campaign by Enda Kenny, faceless party strategists call an emergency meeting. Faceless strategist 1: That wasn’t very good, Taoiseach. Kenny: Well, they asked me a question about figures and stuff, which as you know is not my strength. So I… Read more »

The Wesht Wing, 28 January 2016

Scene 1: Davos. Mingling with guests after taking part in a panel discussion on “global inequality”, Enda Kenny bumps into an old friend. Denis O’Brien: Well done, Taoiseach – you were great. Kenny (checking nervously for cameras before shaking hands): Thanks Denis. I was a bit worried beforehand – there were some heavy hitters up… Read more »

The Wesht Wing, 14 January 2016

Scene 1: The Taoiseach’s home, Castlebar. Enda Kenny takes a call from the Government press officer. Feargal Purcell: Hi Taoiseach. Sorry to bother you so early in the new year, but we really need to get you photographed in a pair of wellies somewhere, quick. Kenny: Why? Has a rubber tycoon made a donation to… Read more »

The Wesht Wing, 17 December 2015

Scene 1: The Taoiseach’s office. Enda Kenny reads the papers as the portrait of Michael Collins looks on. Collins: So the Cop-on conference was a success after all? I hope you got some when you were out there. Kenny: It was called COP21, Mick – as you well know. And it wasn’t about me, it… Read more »

The Wesht Wing, 4 December 2015

Scene 1: Labour Headquarters. The party leader and her deputy hold an emergency meeting on climate change. Joan Burton (studying documents): If these predictions are correct, we’re looking at a disaster. Alan Kelly: Yes. Burton: With rising levels of militant left-wing opinion everywhere, more than half the party’s TDs could be under water come election… Read more »

The Wesht Wing, 20 November 2015

Scene 1: The bustling corridors of Government Buildings (Wesht Wing). En route to a Cabinet meeting, the Taoiseach bumps into the Minister for Arts and Heritage. They walk and talk. Enda Kenny: Well, Heather. How’s all the 1916 stuff going? Heather Humphreys: Very good, Taoiseach – I hope. Although I’m a bit worried about the… Read more »

The Wesht Wing, 6 November 2015

Scene 1: The Burlington Hotel, Dublin. After delivering his speech to the Fine Gael president’s dinner, the Taoiseach receives congratulations from his party press officer. Enda Kenny: Well, how did I do? Press officer: Not bad. I didn’t notice anyone in the audience falling asleep. But was that true about you spending 20 minutes sitting… Read more »

The Wesht Wing, 22 September 2015

Scene 1: A cemetery in Castlelyons, Co Cork. As the Taoiseach prepares to deliver the graveside oration at the State funeral of Thomas Kent, the VIP guests chat among themselves. Gerry Adams (to the President): You know of course it should be you delivering the oration here, Michael D. Not this Mayo Blueshirt, using it… Read more »

The Wesht Wing, 5 September 2015

Scene 1: The back seat of a State car. En route to the annual Béal na Bláth commemoration, and against the background of a crisis in the peace process, the Minister for Justice takes an urgent call from the Garda Commissioner.  Frances Fitzgerald: Commissioner? Noirín O’Sullivan: Good morning, Minister. You asked me for an assessment on whether a certain organisation still exists?… Read more »