May 1, 2025 Craic & Codology

Bertie Ahern The former FF leader is widely acknowledged as restoring Ireland’s faith in God when he resigned in 2008. He is also held to have helped bring the country to its knees during his term as taoiseach in the 1990s. Expect greater emphasis on collection boxes in promoting faith. Roy Keane Widely regarded as… Read more »

May 1, 2025 Craic & Codology

Plan of action won’t apply to broadcasters who are already feeling redundant (Ray D’Arcy, Miriam etc) Employees can now follow the lead of audiences and “voluntarily exit” in their droves Scheme open to staff with a minimum of two years hard graft or who have spent five minutes listening to Joe Duffy Added bonus included… Read more »

May 1, 2025 Craic & Codology

The FAI have paid tribute to departing chief football officer Marc Canham, saying his capacity to get his foot lodged in his mouth was unprecedented in recent times. “I lost count of the amount of times Marc took a pasting in the media,” said FAI CEO David Courell. “Obviously, this is a major moment for… Read more »

May 1, 2025 Craic & Codology

FORMER TD Mary Hanafin has said that she is open to discussions with Fianna Fáil to represent the party in the upcoming presidential elections. “I consider myself the obvious frontrunner,” she insisted, “and the right woman named Mary for the job. The decision will ultimately be up to the party leadership, which is why I… Read more »

May 1, 2025 Craic & Codology

Helen McEntee demanding she gets extra credit Coalition parties happy to lecture everyone on pay restraint Cabinet to continue to play games with teachers Simon Harris on course for leadership heave pretty soon Government refusing to stem flow of educators leaving Administration failingchildren with additional needs Promises to improve conditions are entirely theoretical

May 1, 2025 Craic & Codology

A proposed hotel tax in Dublin is creating a rift between some Government ministers and councillors. The plan to introduce a 1% levy on hotel guests aims to generate an income stream of €12m annually. Arts minister Patrick O’Donothing, however, has opposed the so-called charge, saying: “Such a development would be totally unproductive – particularly… Read more »

May 1, 2025 Craic & Codology

FINANCE MINISTERS from Spain and Lithuania are challenging Paschal Donohoe’s attempt to secure a third term as head of the powerful Eurogroup. EU insider Jean-Paul Éclair has revealed that vicious political plotting is under way to end Donohoe’s lengthy stint. Carlos Costalot and Ramos Šhiftius are actively seeking support ahead of a secret vote set… Read more »

May 1, 2025 Craic & Codology

Q. Are you in favour of allowing scary countries like evil Russia and China to do what they want in Ireland and Irish waters like a flower-powered hippy beatnik? Or are you going to grow a pair, abandon neutrality and stand up to them like a mature country would? Come on you pussy, what’s it… Read more »

May 1, 2025 Craic & Codology

US President Donald Trump has revealed that he is beginning to fear Vladimir Putin may not be the reasonable and level-headed diplomat that he believed him to be. In a post on UnTruth Social, Trump said: “VLAD STOP! We used to be SO CLOSE, why are you ruining our special relationship? You’re making me look… Read more »

May 1, 2025 Craic & Codology

Sharon Osbourne Honestly, is there anything more pathetic than trying to generate cheap headlines for yourself by ranting about something you know absolutely nothing about? It’s not something I would ever do – unless there was a chance I could revive my comatose media career. Conor McGregor I think Kneecap should in future book the… Read more »

May 1, 2025 Craic & Codology

Unpopular opinion I know (like most of mine) but, pope or no pope, there is no need for any kind of smoke – black or white. It is as important for the Vatican as it is for Ireland to meet climate targets. I suggest the Conclave moves to white or black flags as these are… Read more »

April 17, 2025 Craic & Codology

International markets were last night plunged into fresh turmoil after President Donald Trump made no outlandish statements on tariffs. With the US having failed to impose a 780% tariff on any country, fears are growing of an international economic crisis, as market volatility continues in response to the shock period of stability. “People need to… Read more »

April 17, 2025 Craic & Codology

The trend for anti-social behaviour at screenings of A Minecraft Movie, which includes screaming and shouting, has been traced back to the coalition Government. Young cinema-goers started the trend on TikTok, having been inspired by TDs’ childish outbursts. “The coalition are known for behaving like 10-year-olds,” acknowledged one cinema owner. “Many of them are prone… Read more »

April 17, 2025 Craic & Codology

Mary Lou McDonald will continue to live rent free in Micheál Martin’s head Independents reserve the right to leave in a hurry if the going gets tough Fianna Fáil to sublet blame for housing crisis at every available opportunity Lucrative rewards available for politicians who are persistently derelict in their duties Coalition claiming they have… Read more »

April 17, 2025 Craic & Codology

by Phil Space FOLLOWING THE recent spell of quite dry springtime weather, water shortage stories have been springing up and trickling across the front pages of newspapers and other news platforms. Said one delighted editor: “Phew! All hope had more or less dried up by last week as we were running out of worthwhile alternatives… Read more »

April 17, 2025 Craic & Codology

A party source close to Micheál Martin has confirmed that Conor McGregor is likely to be the next Fianna Fáil celebrity candidate. “To be honest, we thought he was more of a Jim O’Callaghan-type character, always making threats but never delivering the knockout punch. Micheál’s new strategy of getting famous, but useless, candidates on the… Read more »

April 17, 2025 Craic & Codology

Simon Harris Trotted off to Washington recently to try and rein in the Trump hurdles but most agree he ended up having an absolute ’mare instead. Is desperately trying to shake off the image that he’s a bit of a show pony who’s afraid of all the necessary donkey work. Eoin Hayes Part of the… Read more »

April 17, 2025 Craic & Codology

by D Tained TWO IRISH citizens have appealed against an order deporting them from Germany over their participation in pro-Palestinian protests. German government spokesperson Hans Upp said the two face very serious allegations, including repeating half-hearted slogans urging Israeli forces to bomb the daylights out of Gaza in a rather more responsible way. Micheál Martin,… Read more »

April 17, 2025 Craic & Codology

SHOCKING NEWS emerged last night when it was confirmed that no new health scandals had occurred within the previous 72 hours. Taoiseach Micheál Martin told reporters: “This is a truly unprecedented development. I can’t even remember the last time something as disturbing as this didn’t happen. “Indeed, it must be almost a week since the… Read more »

April 17, 2025 Craic & Codology

Donald Trump has announced fresh tariffs on Ireland’s biggest exports, including: Outlandish social media posts by Conor McGregor – 300% Bad U2 albums – 400% Overhyped Donie O’Sullivan reports on CNN – 450% Trinity graduates writing novels about toxic relationships – 500% Soccer strikers who fail to deliver on early promise – 1,000%