Category: Craic & Codology

More Star non-stories

September 5, 2015 Craic & Codology

Following on from their sensational scoop about Alan Shatter allegedly claiming 12 euro in expenses, the Irish Daily Star has uncovered further evidence of outrageous extravagance amongst Irish politicians. According to documents seen by the paper, TDs have claimed upwards of 30 cents for items such as matches and toothpicks. Despite the wave of indifference... Read more »

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NASA to help with Irish Water

September 5, 2015 Craic & Codology

The Government is to ask NASA for help with administering Irish Water, it has confirmed. The coalition no longer has any clue who qualifies for the €100 conservation grant and requires the space agency’s help with the calculations. “This is obviously a massive project for us,” said a NASA spokesman yesterday. “We’ve been busy with... Read more »

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KELLY ‘DISCUSSED HOMELESS CRISIS WITH HOTEL STAFF’

September 5, 2015 Craic & Codology

Minister for Doorways and Park Benches Alan Kelly has stringently defended his approach to the country’s homeless crisis, and denies he failed adequately to address the situation while on his summer holidays. “To say I was ‘hiding’ from the issue is a monstrous fallacy of gigantic proportions”, said the straight talking minister from his mobile... Read more »

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Power finds new way to not get elected

September 5, 2015 Craic & Codology

Former Fianna Fail Senator Averil Power has confi rmed she has found a new route to not getting elected. Having already failed to get elected for FF, Power has revealed that she faces rejection as an Independent candidate in Dublin Bay North at the next election. “Averil Power is an icon for our times,” commented... Read more »

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Sinn Féin planning to enslave humanity

September 5, 2015 Craic & Codology

Sinn Féin is hatching a diabolical plan to bring about the end of days, it has emerged. Last night we tracked down the party’s spokesman, known only as Legion, to his hideaway lair where he warned of the dark terror to come. “The time of purification is at hand,” he commented. “Humanity shall soon kneel... Read more »

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OPERATION TRANSFORMATION 2015

January 27, 2015 Craic & Codology

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] Meet The (Wannabe) Leaders Eddie Hobbs Always prepared to jump onto the nearest bandwagon, Eddie is highly motivated and especially keen to shed the entire public service who are draining essential private profits out of the body politic. Shane Ross The dapper Dublin South TD has always considered himself a political heavyweight, but is... Read more »

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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

January 27, 2015 Craic & Codology

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] CLOONEY VISIT Sir, – On behalf of the entire country, may I be the first to the legendary George Clooney and his beautiful bride Amal Alama- dwun to our shores. Hollywood’s glamorous A-list couple have been extremely busy since they celebrated their marriage last September in Venice in front of a small group of... Read more »

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THAT FINE GAEL THINK TANK

January 27, 2015 Craic & Codology

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KEANO UPDATE

January 27, 2015 Craic & Codology

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] ROY KEANE has vowed to quit giving up on things for 2015. Having recently left his assistant manager position at Aston Villa after just four and half months, the Cork man has vowed to cut down on the habit. ‘The idea came from going to see Gone Girl with some of the lads on... Read more »

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FLANNERY LATEST

January 27, 2015 Craic & Codology

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] Former Fine Gael strategist Crank Flannery has said the party’s very existence is threatened unless he is on board for the next general election. Speaking last night, Flannery commented: “Ireland is heading for an apocalyptic abyss if Enda doesn’t utilise my extraordinary political genius. I think it’s time the media focused on my unparalleled strategic brilliance rather than those massive Rehab... Read more »

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EMPTY BED FOUND IN HOSPITAL – INQUIRY DEMANDED

January 27, 2015 Craic & Codology

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] Angry crowds gathered out- side the Ministry of Health last night after it was revealed that a free bed had been dis- covered in one leading Dublin hospital. The demonstrators handed out leaflets claiming that pa- tients on trolleys had already suffered enough without this latest shock. “My 90-year-old grandfa- ther has just got... Read more »

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NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

January 27, 2015 Craic & Codology

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] Rory McIlroy: Try to win 3 majors to be in with a shout of winning the BBC Sports Personality Conor McGregor: Learn to be more outgoing David Drumm: Take acting lessons to become more convincing Ched Evans: Contact Mike Tyson regarding getting career back on track [/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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TV LISTINGS

January 27, 2015 Craic & Codology

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] Game Of Thrones: Sexually explicit, ultra-violent story of medieval political intrigue. Contains strong language and scenes some viewers may find distressing. Starring Aidan Gillen Charlie: Sexually explicit, ultra-violent story of medieval political intrigue. Contains strong language and scenes some viewers may find distressing. Starring Aidan Gillen [/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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CHARLIE SHOCK

January 27, 2015 Craic & Codology

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] CHARLIE STARS Aiden Gillen and Tom Vaughan-Lawlor have said that their roles in the RTÉ drama are the toughest they’ve ever had to play. Both featured in Love/Hate as murderous, treacherous gangland bosses but say those roles were like playing Bosco in comparison with their characters in the new drama. ‘Ah here,’ said Gillen,... Read more »

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New Drumm Uproar

January 27, 2015 Craic & Codology

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] In a sensational ruling that has sent shockwaves throughout the financial world, a US judge has ruled that the former Anglo Irish Bank boss David Drumm was “not remotely credible” and that his statements to the court were filled with “outright lies”. Just seven months after Drumm’s Boston bankruptcy trial, the damning 129,000-page ruling... Read more »

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REBOOT IRELAND LATEST

January 26, 2015 Craic & Codology

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] Health experts say Ireland is facing a “catastrophic” population explosion due to the political party being launched by former Fine Gael TD Lucinda Creighton. “The new party’s four founding principles are so in- credibly promising and reassuring for Ireland’s future that people are inevitably going to want to have lots more children,” warns sociologist Raisa... Read more »

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IRISH INDOBRIENDENT NEW EDITOR HAILS FRESH DIRECTION

January 26, 2015 Craic & Codology

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] As he commences his new role as editor of the Irish Independent, Fionnan Spleen yesterday stated that the paper was about to enter an exciting new era. “Under the guidance of the supreme leader, his magnificence Denis O’Brien, the Irish Spindo can look forward to a bright future largely based around the same tired... Read more »

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